Tuesday, January 11, 2011
New blog at new address! Check it out!
This blog is no longer! We have a revamped website at jayandlaura.com and a new blog at betweenthesheets.jayandlaura.com Also Laura will be blogging on her own blog about issues women face at itsgottabetheshoes.com. Check them all out!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Summer camp!
WHEW! It is the end of June already and summer feels like it has just begun! Warm days and cool nights here in Michigan! Golf, running, grilling and nights by the chiminea fire are what it is all about here in the Laffoon house.
Torrey is spending his summer at Spring Hill working as a counselor for middle school boys. He is loving it and really growing in his abilities to lead.
Grace just returned from a week of camp with Youth for Christ here in Central Michigan. She is exhausted but loved every minute of camp!
Summer Camp - a place where kids can refocus, learn and grow. Summer camp has always been great for Torrey and Grace because they see themselves in new ways. They realize that they have gifts and abilities that maybe they had never seen before. New friends are made and it broadens our kids horizons in the social area of their life.
I think adults need summer camp! We become to bogged down in the routines of our lives that we need time to refocus ourselves. We need to search and discover gifts and abilities that maybe we have never seen before. We need to spend time with friends.
We only have so many precious moments in this life, lets not waste them! Take some time and "go to summer camp"!
Laura
Torrey is spending his summer at Spring Hill working as a counselor for middle school boys. He is loving it and really growing in his abilities to lead.
Grace just returned from a week of camp with Youth for Christ here in Central Michigan. She is exhausted but loved every minute of camp!
Summer Camp - a place where kids can refocus, learn and grow. Summer camp has always been great for Torrey and Grace because they see themselves in new ways. They realize that they have gifts and abilities that maybe they had never seen before. New friends are made and it broadens our kids horizons in the social area of their life.
I think adults need summer camp! We become to bogged down in the routines of our lives that we need time to refocus ourselves. We need to search and discover gifts and abilities that maybe we have never seen before. We need to spend time with friends.
We only have so many precious moments in this life, lets not waste them! Take some time and "go to summer camp"!
Laura
Monday, June 07, 2010
Al Gore or Hall of Fame?
Most of us are painfully aware of the news that Al & Tipper Gore are divorcing after 40+ years of marriage. There is much speculation about the reasons behind the breakup and the fallout that will occur. In our opinion the bottom line is they quit WORKING on their marriage. If you stop working on your marriage your marriage will stop working for you.
We just returned from a weekend in Charlotte, NC where we had the privilege to spend some time with John and Laura Kasay. John is the place kicker for the NFL’s Carolina Panthers and has been one of the most consistent kickers in the league over his 20 year career. Because of his consistency and longevity there is little doubt John will be a hall of famer.
Do you want to know something interesting? Come the end of July, John will be heading to TRAINING CAMP. That’s right, weeks of nothing but eating and sleeping football. Weeks of drill after drill, weeks of focusing on the fundamentals, and even though John is a 20 year veteran he will go back and focus on those fundamentals. Why? Because it’s what is needed to be successful!
The same thing is true in many aspects of life. Most professionals have to keep up with their CEU’s (Continuing Education Units). Most teachers have to continue to take graduate level classes. Even our driver’s license has to be renewed every 4 years.
So why then do most people think that marriage is different? Why do people think once they stand at the altar and say “I do” that their marriage will magically WORK? We believe there are many reasons:
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that romance just naturally occurs in daily life.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that men and women will naturally meet each other’s needs.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that when you are tired of this spouse you can “turn the page” and have a new spouse.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that marriage education is dull and uninteresting.
• And sadly our Churches fail to make marriage a priority.
We challenge couples continuously to “GET AWAY AND GET AHEAD”. Couples who make time to get away from the kids, the job and all that life throws at them are happier, healthier, have a better sex life, and are more contented with life, than those who don’t.
So when was the last time you got away for a marriage training camp? Unlike our friend John it DOESN’T have to be drill after drill. It could simply be a romantic weekend away together. Or go to a marriage conference of your choice. (We by the way have a GREAT one coming this October to Grand Hotel with Dr. John Trent and comedian Thor Ramsey).
Maybe you can’t afford to get away right now. Start by reading a book on marriage or go online and read some articles. Your marriage needs work, OUR marriage needs work if it’s going to stay healthy and growing for years to come. Let’s do the work and remember to focus on the fundamentals!
So what’s your marriage gonna be… Al & Tipper or a Hall of Famer?
Blessings
Jay & Laura
We just returned from a weekend in Charlotte, NC where we had the privilege to spend some time with John and Laura Kasay. John is the place kicker for the NFL’s Carolina Panthers and has been one of the most consistent kickers in the league over his 20 year career. Because of his consistency and longevity there is little doubt John will be a hall of famer.
Do you want to know something interesting? Come the end of July, John will be heading to TRAINING CAMP. That’s right, weeks of nothing but eating and sleeping football. Weeks of drill after drill, weeks of focusing on the fundamentals, and even though John is a 20 year veteran he will go back and focus on those fundamentals. Why? Because it’s what is needed to be successful!
The same thing is true in many aspects of life. Most professionals have to keep up with their CEU’s (Continuing Education Units). Most teachers have to continue to take graduate level classes. Even our driver’s license has to be renewed every 4 years.
So why then do most people think that marriage is different? Why do people think once they stand at the altar and say “I do” that their marriage will magically WORK? We believe there are many reasons:
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that romance just naturally occurs in daily life.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that men and women will naturally meet each other’s needs.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that when you are tired of this spouse you can “turn the page” and have a new spouse.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that marriage education is dull and uninteresting.
• And sadly our Churches fail to make marriage a priority.
We challenge couples continuously to “GET AWAY AND GET AHEAD”. Couples who make time to get away from the kids, the job and all that life throws at them are happier, healthier, have a better sex life, and are more contented with life, than those who don’t.
So when was the last time you got away for a marriage training camp? Unlike our friend John it DOESN’T have to be drill after drill. It could simply be a romantic weekend away together. Or go to a marriage conference of your choice. (We by the way have a GREAT one coming this October to Grand Hotel with Dr. John Trent and comedian Thor Ramsey).
Maybe you can’t afford to get away right now. Start by reading a book on marriage or go online and read some articles. Your marriage needs work, OUR marriage needs work if it’s going to stay healthy and growing for years to come. Let’s do the work and remember to focus on the fundamentals!
So what’s your marriage gonna be… Al & Tipper or a Hall of Famer?
Blessings
Jay & Laura
Friday, May 07, 2010
Are we losing the battle for Marriage?
- UNWED BIRTH RATE SIGNALS COLLAPSE OF MARRIAGE Unwed birth rate signals collapse of marriage
by: JENNIFER A. MARSHALL
Tulsa World
May 07, 2010
It's hard to imagine the unemployment rate rising steeply for decades without public outcry. But that's exactly what's happened in the case of another significant indicator: the unwed birth rate.
Hardly anyone noticed this month when new data showed 40 percent of all births are to unmarried mothers. That's way up from 7 percent in the mid-1960s, when a young White House appointee named Daniel Patrick Moynihan tried to sound the alarm.
Moynihan, then an assistant Labor secretary in the Johnson administration, issued a report in 1965 warning that disintegration of the black family in America threatened Johnson's War on Poverty.
"(D)ollars of income, standards of living, and years of education deceive.
... The fundamental problem is that of family structure. (The black) family in the urban ghettos is crumbling. So long as this situation persists, the cycle of poverty and disadvantage will continue to repeat itself."
Regrettably, history proved Moynihan ‹ the future Democratic senator from New York ‹ to be correct. When the Moynihan Report was released, one out of four black children was born to an unwed mother. Now, a staggering three out of four black children are born outside marriage.
That fact will cast a long shadow down the course of a child's life. As one prominent black author wrote in 2006:
"(C)hildren living with single mothers are five times more likely to be poor than children in two-parent households. Children in single-parent homes are also more likely to drop out of school and become teen parents, even when income is factored out. And the evidence suggests that on average, children who live with their biological mother and father do better than those who live in stepfamilies or with cohabiting partners."
About two-thirds of poor children live in single-parent homes. Government spends $300 billion annually to assist low-income single parents.
But if poor single mothers married the fathers of their children, nearly two-thirds could escape poverty immediately. About half of unwed mothers are cohabiting with the father at the time of birth, and three out of four are in a romantic relationship with the father. Not only are most of these men employed when the child is born, research shows that more than half earn enough to be the breadwinner and keep a family out of poverty.
Yet discussions of poverty rarely address the collapse of marriage. Two generations of children have paid the price for adults ignoring Moynihan's prophecy.
Avoiding the central problem, many focused on births to teen girls. Indeed, release of the alarming new data that 40 percent of all children and 72 percent of black children are born outside marriage produced headlines concentrating on teen births.
However, only about one in seven out-of-wedlock births is to a girl younger than 18. The typical mother of a child born outside marriage is in her early 20s and without much income or education.
To ignore the collapse of marriage is heartless. For the sake of children, especially, we should muster all our ingenuity and resources to restore a culture of marriage in America.
President Barack Obama recognizes the significance of marriage for the welfare of children. In his 2006 book "The Audacity of Hope."
Obama writes: "Policies that strengthen marriage for those who choose it and that discourage unintended births outside of marriage are sensible goals to pursue."
But rather than backing such policies, the president's 2011 budget would eliminate the one program dedicated to encouraging healthy marriage. In its place would be a program promoting a notion of "fatherhood" that doesn't involve the father being married or in the home.
Sadly, Obama's action is yet another way to avoid addressing the collapse of marriage and its consequences.
The facts speak for themselves. It's time more policy-makers noticed what the facts are saying.
Jennifer A. Marshall is director of the DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society at The Heritage Foundation and author of "Now and Not Yet: Making Sense of Single Life in the Twenty-First Century."
by: JENNIFER A. MARSHALL
Tulsa World
May 07, 2010
It's hard to imagine the unemployment rate rising steeply for decades without public outcry. But that's exactly what's happened in the case of another significant indicator: the unwed birth rate.
Hardly anyone noticed this month when new data showed 40 percent of all births are to unmarried mothers. That's way up from 7 percent in the mid-1960s, when a young White House appointee named Daniel Patrick Moynihan tried to sound the alarm.
Moynihan, then an assistant Labor secretary in the Johnson administration, issued a report in 1965 warning that disintegration of the black family in America threatened Johnson's War on Poverty.
"(D)ollars of income, standards of living, and years of education deceive.
... The fundamental problem is that of family structure. (The black) family in the urban ghettos is crumbling. So long as this situation persists, the cycle of poverty and disadvantage will continue to repeat itself."
Regrettably, history proved Moynihan ‹ the future Democratic senator from New York ‹ to be correct. When the Moynihan Report was released, one out of four black children was born to an unwed mother. Now, a staggering three out of four black children are born outside marriage.
That fact will cast a long shadow down the course of a child's life. As one prominent black author wrote in 2006:
"(C)hildren living with single mothers are five times more likely to be poor than children in two-parent households. Children in single-parent homes are also more likely to drop out of school and become teen parents, even when income is factored out. And the evidence suggests that on average, children who live with their biological mother and father do better than those who live in stepfamilies or with cohabiting partners."
About two-thirds of poor children live in single-parent homes. Government spends $300 billion annually to assist low-income single parents.
But if poor single mothers married the fathers of their children, nearly two-thirds could escape poverty immediately. About half of unwed mothers are cohabiting with the father at the time of birth, and three out of four are in a romantic relationship with the father. Not only are most of these men employed when the child is born, research shows that more than half earn enough to be the breadwinner and keep a family out of poverty.
Yet discussions of poverty rarely address the collapse of marriage. Two generations of children have paid the price for adults ignoring Moynihan's prophecy.
Avoiding the central problem, many focused on births to teen girls. Indeed, release of the alarming new data that 40 percent of all children and 72 percent of black children are born outside marriage produced headlines concentrating on teen births.
However, only about one in seven out-of-wedlock births is to a girl younger than 18. The typical mother of a child born outside marriage is in her early 20s and without much income or education.
To ignore the collapse of marriage is heartless. For the sake of children, especially, we should muster all our ingenuity and resources to restore a culture of marriage in America.
President Barack Obama recognizes the significance of marriage for the welfare of children. In his 2006 book "The Audacity of Hope."
Obama writes: "Policies that strengthen marriage for those who choose it and that discourage unintended births outside of marriage are sensible goals to pursue."
But rather than backing such policies, the president's 2011 budget would eliminate the one program dedicated to encouraging healthy marriage. In its place would be a program promoting a notion of "fatherhood" that doesn't involve the father being married or in the home.
Sadly, Obama's action is yet another way to avoid addressing the collapse of marriage and its consequences.
The facts speak for themselves. It's time more policy-makers noticed what the facts are saying.
Jennifer A. Marshall is director of the DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society at The Heritage Foundation and author of "Now and Not Yet: Making Sense of Single Life in the Twenty-First Century."
For Mom's this weekend
MURPHY'S LAWS OF PARENTING
- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
- Toys multiply to fill any space available.
- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.
- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.
- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
Here's praying a BLESSED day for all moms!
- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
- Toys multiply to fill any space available.
- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.
- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.
- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
Here's praying a BLESSED day for all moms!
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Sunday is BAM!
This Sunday is BAM...Bless a Mother day as we all Bless our MOM's for all the ways they have blessed us.
My mom has blessed me with a strong faith in Jesus, a sense of humor and a penchant for the "finer" things in life...
How has your mom blessed you?
My mom has blessed me with a strong faith in Jesus, a sense of humor and a penchant for the "finer" things in life...
How has your mom blessed you?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
DO Sweat the Small Stuff!
This article came across our desk...It's a GREAT reminder to SWEAT the small things in your marriage!
Elizabeth Bernstein
Wall St Journal
April 20, 2010
When Jim Caudill's first wife sat him down and explained that she wanted a divorce, she had a long list of complaints: He didn't help enough with the kids. He didn't do his share of the housework. They were more devoted to work than to each other.
Then she brought up the English muffins. "She said, 'You never butter them to the edges, you just pat it in the middle,'" says Mr. Caudill, a 59-year-old winery marketing representative in Santa Rosa, Calif.
Mr. Caudill was stunned. But gradually, the message sunk in. "The weight of a small thing can be onerous," he says. "It's a symptom of a larger need."
Don't sweat the small stuff? Don't kid yourself.
Just as we often fall in love with the little traits or quirks of our partner‹a crooked smile, a goofy laugh or the way he or she fawns over a pet‹we can fall out of love over seemingly small things. Aggravation over the little characteristics we would like to change about our mate can build up over time and become much more than the sum of their parts. As any divorce attorney can tell you, a dirty sock left on the floor has a way of turning into: "You do not listen to me, you do not respect me, you do not care about me." . . .
(And, the classic paragraph)
. . . . Ms. Barrie, who has since divorced and remarried, was dismayed to find that her second husband also leaves his dirty dishes in the sink. But she says she has finally learned to take it in stride. "By the time you marry a second time, you grow up," she says. "I realized how important it was to have a partner for the big life stuff and that the little life stuff ruins the present moment."
So how do you cope when your partner's habits start to push you over the edge? . . . .
Full article: here
Blessings~
J & L
Elizabeth Bernstein
Wall St Journal
April 20, 2010
When Jim Caudill's first wife sat him down and explained that she wanted a divorce, she had a long list of complaints: He didn't help enough with the kids. He didn't do his share of the housework. They were more devoted to work than to each other.
Then she brought up the English muffins. "She said, 'You never butter them to the edges, you just pat it in the middle,'" says Mr. Caudill, a 59-year-old winery marketing representative in Santa Rosa, Calif.
Mr. Caudill was stunned. But gradually, the message sunk in. "The weight of a small thing can be onerous," he says. "It's a symptom of a larger need."
Don't sweat the small stuff? Don't kid yourself.
Just as we often fall in love with the little traits or quirks of our partner‹a crooked smile, a goofy laugh or the way he or she fawns over a pet‹we can fall out of love over seemingly small things. Aggravation over the little characteristics we would like to change about our mate can build up over time and become much more than the sum of their parts. As any divorce attorney can tell you, a dirty sock left on the floor has a way of turning into: "You do not listen to me, you do not respect me, you do not care about me." . . .
(And, the classic paragraph)
. . . . Ms. Barrie, who has since divorced and remarried, was dismayed to find that her second husband also leaves his dirty dishes in the sink. But she says she has finally learned to take it in stride. "By the time you marry a second time, you grow up," she says. "I realized how important it was to have a partner for the big life stuff and that the little life stuff ruins the present moment."
So how do you cope when your partner's habits start to push you over the edge? . . . .
Full article: here
Blessings~
J & L
Monday, April 12, 2010
Be Grateful!
From our friend Mike Atkinson at Mikey's Funnies
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies! Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said: "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
This "funny" reminded us of ALL for which we Laffoon's are truly grateful.
Take a moment, hug your kids, call your folks, make love to your spouse, do something that lets someone in your life know your are GRATEFUL for them!
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies! Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said: "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
This "funny" reminded us of ALL for which we Laffoon's are truly grateful.
Take a moment, hug your kids, call your folks, make love to your spouse, do something that lets someone in your life know your are GRATEFUL for them!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
