WHEW! It is the end of June already and summer feels like it has just begun! Warm days and cool nights here in Michigan! Golf, running, grilling and nights by the chiminea fire are what it is all about here in the Laffoon house.
Torrey is spending his summer at Spring Hill working as a counselor for middle school boys. He is loving it and really growing in his abilities to lead.
Grace just returned from a week of camp with Youth for Christ here in Central Michigan. She is exhausted but loved every minute of camp!
Summer Camp - a place where kids can refocus, learn and grow. Summer camp has always been great for Torrey and Grace because they see themselves in new ways. They realize that they have gifts and abilities that maybe they had never seen before. New friends are made and it broadens our kids horizons in the social area of their life.
I think adults need summer camp! We become to bogged down in the routines of our lives that we need time to refocus ourselves. We need to search and discover gifts and abilities that maybe we have never seen before. We need to spend time with friends.
We only have so many precious moments in this life, lets not waste them! Take some time and "go to summer camp"!
Laura
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Monday, June 07, 2010
Al Gore or Hall of Fame?
Most of us are painfully aware of the news that Al & Tipper Gore are divorcing after 40+ years of marriage. There is much speculation about the reasons behind the breakup and the fallout that will occur. In our opinion the bottom line is they quit WORKING on their marriage. If you stop working on your marriage your marriage will stop working for you.
We just returned from a weekend in Charlotte, NC where we had the privilege to spend some time with John and Laura Kasay. John is the place kicker for the NFL’s Carolina Panthers and has been one of the most consistent kickers in the league over his 20 year career. Because of his consistency and longevity there is little doubt John will be a hall of famer.
Do you want to know something interesting? Come the end of July, John will be heading to TRAINING CAMP. That’s right, weeks of nothing but eating and sleeping football. Weeks of drill after drill, weeks of focusing on the fundamentals, and even though John is a 20 year veteran he will go back and focus on those fundamentals. Why? Because it’s what is needed to be successful!
The same thing is true in many aspects of life. Most professionals have to keep up with their CEU’s (Continuing Education Units). Most teachers have to continue to take graduate level classes. Even our driver’s license has to be renewed every 4 years.
So why then do most people think that marriage is different? Why do people think once they stand at the altar and say “I do” that their marriage will magically WORK? We believe there are many reasons:
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that romance just naturally occurs in daily life.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that men and women will naturally meet each other’s needs.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that when you are tired of this spouse you can “turn the page” and have a new spouse.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that marriage education is dull and uninteresting.
• And sadly our Churches fail to make marriage a priority.
We challenge couples continuously to “GET AWAY AND GET AHEAD”. Couples who make time to get away from the kids, the job and all that life throws at them are happier, healthier, have a better sex life, and are more contented with life, than those who don’t.
So when was the last time you got away for a marriage training camp? Unlike our friend John it DOESN’T have to be drill after drill. It could simply be a romantic weekend away together. Or go to a marriage conference of your choice. (We by the way have a GREAT one coming this October to Grand Hotel with Dr. John Trent and comedian Thor Ramsey).
Maybe you can’t afford to get away right now. Start by reading a book on marriage or go online and read some articles. Your marriage needs work, OUR marriage needs work if it’s going to stay healthy and growing for years to come. Let’s do the work and remember to focus on the fundamentals!
So what’s your marriage gonna be… Al & Tipper or a Hall of Famer?
Blessings
Jay & Laura
We just returned from a weekend in Charlotte, NC where we had the privilege to spend some time with John and Laura Kasay. John is the place kicker for the NFL’s Carolina Panthers and has been one of the most consistent kickers in the league over his 20 year career. Because of his consistency and longevity there is little doubt John will be a hall of famer.
Do you want to know something interesting? Come the end of July, John will be heading to TRAINING CAMP. That’s right, weeks of nothing but eating and sleeping football. Weeks of drill after drill, weeks of focusing on the fundamentals, and even though John is a 20 year veteran he will go back and focus on those fundamentals. Why? Because it’s what is needed to be successful!
The same thing is true in many aspects of life. Most professionals have to keep up with their CEU’s (Continuing Education Units). Most teachers have to continue to take graduate level classes. Even our driver’s license has to be renewed every 4 years.
So why then do most people think that marriage is different? Why do people think once they stand at the altar and say “I do” that their marriage will magically WORK? We believe there are many reasons:
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that romance just naturally occurs in daily life.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that men and women will naturally meet each other’s needs.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that when you are tired of this spouse you can “turn the page” and have a new spouse.
• Our culture perpetuates the lie that marriage education is dull and uninteresting.
• And sadly our Churches fail to make marriage a priority.
We challenge couples continuously to “GET AWAY AND GET AHEAD”. Couples who make time to get away from the kids, the job and all that life throws at them are happier, healthier, have a better sex life, and are more contented with life, than those who don’t.
So when was the last time you got away for a marriage training camp? Unlike our friend John it DOESN’T have to be drill after drill. It could simply be a romantic weekend away together. Or go to a marriage conference of your choice. (We by the way have a GREAT one coming this October to Grand Hotel with Dr. John Trent and comedian Thor Ramsey).
Maybe you can’t afford to get away right now. Start by reading a book on marriage or go online and read some articles. Your marriage needs work, OUR marriage needs work if it’s going to stay healthy and growing for years to come. Let’s do the work and remember to focus on the fundamentals!
So what’s your marriage gonna be… Al & Tipper or a Hall of Famer?
Blessings
Jay & Laura
Friday, May 07, 2010
Are we losing the battle for Marriage?
- UNWED BIRTH RATE SIGNALS COLLAPSE OF MARRIAGE Unwed birth rate signals collapse of marriage
by: JENNIFER A. MARSHALL
Tulsa World
May 07, 2010
It's hard to imagine the unemployment rate rising steeply for decades without public outcry. But that's exactly what's happened in the case of another significant indicator: the unwed birth rate.
Hardly anyone noticed this month when new data showed 40 percent of all births are to unmarried mothers. That's way up from 7 percent in the mid-1960s, when a young White House appointee named Daniel Patrick Moynihan tried to sound the alarm.
Moynihan, then an assistant Labor secretary in the Johnson administration, issued a report in 1965 warning that disintegration of the black family in America threatened Johnson's War on Poverty.
"(D)ollars of income, standards of living, and years of education deceive.
... The fundamental problem is that of family structure. (The black) family in the urban ghettos is crumbling. So long as this situation persists, the cycle of poverty and disadvantage will continue to repeat itself."
Regrettably, history proved Moynihan ‹ the future Democratic senator from New York ‹ to be correct. When the Moynihan Report was released, one out of four black children was born to an unwed mother. Now, a staggering three out of four black children are born outside marriage.
That fact will cast a long shadow down the course of a child's life. As one prominent black author wrote in 2006:
"(C)hildren living with single mothers are five times more likely to be poor than children in two-parent households. Children in single-parent homes are also more likely to drop out of school and become teen parents, even when income is factored out. And the evidence suggests that on average, children who live with their biological mother and father do better than those who live in stepfamilies or with cohabiting partners."
About two-thirds of poor children live in single-parent homes. Government spends $300 billion annually to assist low-income single parents.
But if poor single mothers married the fathers of their children, nearly two-thirds could escape poverty immediately. About half of unwed mothers are cohabiting with the father at the time of birth, and three out of four are in a romantic relationship with the father. Not only are most of these men employed when the child is born, research shows that more than half earn enough to be the breadwinner and keep a family out of poverty.
Yet discussions of poverty rarely address the collapse of marriage. Two generations of children have paid the price for adults ignoring Moynihan's prophecy.
Avoiding the central problem, many focused on births to teen girls. Indeed, release of the alarming new data that 40 percent of all children and 72 percent of black children are born outside marriage produced headlines concentrating on teen births.
However, only about one in seven out-of-wedlock births is to a girl younger than 18. The typical mother of a child born outside marriage is in her early 20s and without much income or education.
To ignore the collapse of marriage is heartless. For the sake of children, especially, we should muster all our ingenuity and resources to restore a culture of marriage in America.
President Barack Obama recognizes the significance of marriage for the welfare of children. In his 2006 book "The Audacity of Hope."
Obama writes: "Policies that strengthen marriage for those who choose it and that discourage unintended births outside of marriage are sensible goals to pursue."
But rather than backing such policies, the president's 2011 budget would eliminate the one program dedicated to encouraging healthy marriage. In its place would be a program promoting a notion of "fatherhood" that doesn't involve the father being married or in the home.
Sadly, Obama's action is yet another way to avoid addressing the collapse of marriage and its consequences.
The facts speak for themselves. It's time more policy-makers noticed what the facts are saying.
Jennifer A. Marshall is director of the DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society at The Heritage Foundation and author of "Now and Not Yet: Making Sense of Single Life in the Twenty-First Century."
by: JENNIFER A. MARSHALL
Tulsa World
May 07, 2010
It's hard to imagine the unemployment rate rising steeply for decades without public outcry. But that's exactly what's happened in the case of another significant indicator: the unwed birth rate.
Hardly anyone noticed this month when new data showed 40 percent of all births are to unmarried mothers. That's way up from 7 percent in the mid-1960s, when a young White House appointee named Daniel Patrick Moynihan tried to sound the alarm.
Moynihan, then an assistant Labor secretary in the Johnson administration, issued a report in 1965 warning that disintegration of the black family in America threatened Johnson's War on Poverty.
"(D)ollars of income, standards of living, and years of education deceive.
... The fundamental problem is that of family structure. (The black) family in the urban ghettos is crumbling. So long as this situation persists, the cycle of poverty and disadvantage will continue to repeat itself."
Regrettably, history proved Moynihan ‹ the future Democratic senator from New York ‹ to be correct. When the Moynihan Report was released, one out of four black children was born to an unwed mother. Now, a staggering three out of four black children are born outside marriage.
That fact will cast a long shadow down the course of a child's life. As one prominent black author wrote in 2006:
"(C)hildren living with single mothers are five times more likely to be poor than children in two-parent households. Children in single-parent homes are also more likely to drop out of school and become teen parents, even when income is factored out. And the evidence suggests that on average, children who live with their biological mother and father do better than those who live in stepfamilies or with cohabiting partners."
About two-thirds of poor children live in single-parent homes. Government spends $300 billion annually to assist low-income single parents.
But if poor single mothers married the fathers of their children, nearly two-thirds could escape poverty immediately. About half of unwed mothers are cohabiting with the father at the time of birth, and three out of four are in a romantic relationship with the father. Not only are most of these men employed when the child is born, research shows that more than half earn enough to be the breadwinner and keep a family out of poverty.
Yet discussions of poverty rarely address the collapse of marriage. Two generations of children have paid the price for adults ignoring Moynihan's prophecy.
Avoiding the central problem, many focused on births to teen girls. Indeed, release of the alarming new data that 40 percent of all children and 72 percent of black children are born outside marriage produced headlines concentrating on teen births.
However, only about one in seven out-of-wedlock births is to a girl younger than 18. The typical mother of a child born outside marriage is in her early 20s and without much income or education.
To ignore the collapse of marriage is heartless. For the sake of children, especially, we should muster all our ingenuity and resources to restore a culture of marriage in America.
President Barack Obama recognizes the significance of marriage for the welfare of children. In his 2006 book "The Audacity of Hope."
Obama writes: "Policies that strengthen marriage for those who choose it and that discourage unintended births outside of marriage are sensible goals to pursue."
But rather than backing such policies, the president's 2011 budget would eliminate the one program dedicated to encouraging healthy marriage. In its place would be a program promoting a notion of "fatherhood" that doesn't involve the father being married or in the home.
Sadly, Obama's action is yet another way to avoid addressing the collapse of marriage and its consequences.
The facts speak for themselves. It's time more policy-makers noticed what the facts are saying.
Jennifer A. Marshall is director of the DeVos Center for Religion and Civil Society at The Heritage Foundation and author of "Now and Not Yet: Making Sense of Single Life in the Twenty-First Century."
For Mom's this weekend
MURPHY'S LAWS OF PARENTING
- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
- Toys multiply to fill any space available.
- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.
- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.
- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
Here's praying a BLESSED day for all moms!
- The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
- The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.
- The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
- A sure way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.
- For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
- Toys multiply to fill any space available.
- Yours is always the only child who doesn't behave.
- If the shoe fits ... it's expensive.
- Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.
Here's praying a BLESSED day for all moms!
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Sunday is BAM!
This Sunday is BAM...Bless a Mother day as we all Bless our MOM's for all the ways they have blessed us.
My mom has blessed me with a strong faith in Jesus, a sense of humor and a penchant for the "finer" things in life...
How has your mom blessed you?
My mom has blessed me with a strong faith in Jesus, a sense of humor and a penchant for the "finer" things in life...
How has your mom blessed you?
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
DO Sweat the Small Stuff!
This article came across our desk...It's a GREAT reminder to SWEAT the small things in your marriage!
Elizabeth Bernstein
Wall St Journal
April 20, 2010
When Jim Caudill's first wife sat him down and explained that she wanted a divorce, she had a long list of complaints: He didn't help enough with the kids. He didn't do his share of the housework. They were more devoted to work than to each other.
Then she brought up the English muffins. "She said, 'You never butter them to the edges, you just pat it in the middle,'" says Mr. Caudill, a 59-year-old winery marketing representative in Santa Rosa, Calif.
Mr. Caudill was stunned. But gradually, the message sunk in. "The weight of a small thing can be onerous," he says. "It's a symptom of a larger need."
Don't sweat the small stuff? Don't kid yourself.
Just as we often fall in love with the little traits or quirks of our partner‹a crooked smile, a goofy laugh or the way he or she fawns over a pet‹we can fall out of love over seemingly small things. Aggravation over the little characteristics we would like to change about our mate can build up over time and become much more than the sum of their parts. As any divorce attorney can tell you, a dirty sock left on the floor has a way of turning into: "You do not listen to me, you do not respect me, you do not care about me." . . .
(And, the classic paragraph)
. . . . Ms. Barrie, who has since divorced and remarried, was dismayed to find that her second husband also leaves his dirty dishes in the sink. But she says she has finally learned to take it in stride. "By the time you marry a second time, you grow up," she says. "I realized how important it was to have a partner for the big life stuff and that the little life stuff ruins the present moment."
So how do you cope when your partner's habits start to push you over the edge? . . . .
Full article: here
Blessings~
J & L
Elizabeth Bernstein
Wall St Journal
April 20, 2010
When Jim Caudill's first wife sat him down and explained that she wanted a divorce, she had a long list of complaints: He didn't help enough with the kids. He didn't do his share of the housework. They were more devoted to work than to each other.
Then she brought up the English muffins. "She said, 'You never butter them to the edges, you just pat it in the middle,'" says Mr. Caudill, a 59-year-old winery marketing representative in Santa Rosa, Calif.
Mr. Caudill was stunned. But gradually, the message sunk in. "The weight of a small thing can be onerous," he says. "It's a symptom of a larger need."
Don't sweat the small stuff? Don't kid yourself.
Just as we often fall in love with the little traits or quirks of our partner‹a crooked smile, a goofy laugh or the way he or she fawns over a pet‹we can fall out of love over seemingly small things. Aggravation over the little characteristics we would like to change about our mate can build up over time and become much more than the sum of their parts. As any divorce attorney can tell you, a dirty sock left on the floor has a way of turning into: "You do not listen to me, you do not respect me, you do not care about me." . . .
(And, the classic paragraph)
. . . . Ms. Barrie, who has since divorced and remarried, was dismayed to find that her second husband also leaves his dirty dishes in the sink. But she says she has finally learned to take it in stride. "By the time you marry a second time, you grow up," she says. "I realized how important it was to have a partner for the big life stuff and that the little life stuff ruins the present moment."
So how do you cope when your partner's habits start to push you over the edge? . . . .
Full article: here
Blessings~
J & L
Monday, April 12, 2010
Be Grateful!
From our friend Mike Atkinson at Mikey's Funnies
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies! Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said: "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
This "funny" reminded us of ALL for which we Laffoon's are truly grateful.
Take a moment, hug your kids, call your folks, make love to your spouse, do something that lets someone in your life know your are GRATEFUL for them!
Within a year, our Young Couples Department at church had grown from one class of eight active couples to four classes with 56 active couples!
On Baby Dedication Sunday that year, we had 19 babies! Our Pastor was so excited. He stood in the pulpit that Sunday with 19 babies and their parents facing him. He wanted to brag on these couples and the great job that they had done growing this Young Couples Department. However, here's what he actually said: "Just look at ALL these babies! Folks, this just goes to show what our young couples have been doing!!!"
The laughter started and continued for several minutes. Every time the pastor tried to say something, the laughter would begin again. Finally, the red-faced pastor added, "For which we are grateful."
This "funny" reminded us of ALL for which we Laffoon's are truly grateful.
Take a moment, hug your kids, call your folks, make love to your spouse, do something that lets someone in your life know your are GRATEFUL for them!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Quiz Time!
OK time for a CONTEST...the first person to answer this question correctly wins a Celebrate Cinch Sack full of goodies!
We've been on vacation since Saturday...
Typically we do this AT LEAST once a day on vacation...
It's Tuesday and we haven't done it yet...
What are we talking about?
Remember the first person to answer correctly WINS!
Celebrate!
Jay & Laura~~
We've been on vacation since Saturday...
Typically we do this AT LEAST once a day on vacation...
It's Tuesday and we haven't done it yet...
What are we talking about?
Remember the first person to answer correctly WINS!
Celebrate!
Jay & Laura~~
Friday, March 26, 2010
I AM READING MORE AND DUSTING LESS
This came to my inbox from one of our favorite websites Mikey's Funnies
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.
I'm guessing--
I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with--someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
Enjoy today's gift~
Laura
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip.
It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."
He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me.
"Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life.
I'm reading more and dusting less.
I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary.
If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food.
I'm guessing--
I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with--someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
Enjoy today's gift~
Laura
Monday, March 22, 2010
We get the nicest letters
One of the blessings of our line of work is to hear how the Lord is touching people. Here's a Facebook message we just received.
Hi Jay and Laura,
My husband and I bought your book at your Holland venue, last week...we decided we would read the book together, resulting in when he read a chapter; sitting in our favorite love seat (which has his/her sides) anyways, when we were done I would find the book sitting on my side of the couch, so we went on that way through the whole book....Finishing it today.
Normally, I would not write a "report" on something I read, but really felt I needed to after reading something that touched both of us deeply.
Our marriage is a second marriage for both of us, we will be married 2 years this June....knowing our marriage was blessed by God already, this book just edified that so perfectly for us....we both prayed for a spouse that resembled one defined in your book...and we knew we had it right, but did not realize HOW RIGHT:).
I discovered my husband IS a typical man and that is OK, I knew; but did not completely understand it...He discovered , there ARE FOUR WEEKS IN A MONTH :)....he always has handled that well but understands it more now....I asked him in the beginning (reading) what did you learn, he starts talking all about the divots, I thought Oh no, this is going to be a difficult read, I waited for him to finish, he then told me how this will help our marriage...it then became an easy read....:)
Laura, wow thank you for being you, sorry to say there is 2 of you and I am one of them :).on many levels..I now know I AM OK!...and I am blessed with a husband who has helped me see this and made me believe in myself again, he has spent 3 years helping me "retrain" my thoughts about myself, by showing me respect, love, and cherishing me...WOW am I BLESSED....
I am by no means a writer , but I hope I was able to express what your book has meant to us, I have an almost 18 year old son, who has been in a relationship for 3 years, and we both have suggested this be a must read book for his future...thank you all you both do.
In the end he WOULD take a bullet for me and I WILL follow him to the ends of the earth.....I should have known this from the beginning when he said(written by him) to me " If our love was like water, it would make Noah's flood look like a spring puddle"...
Blessings,
Dianne and Rick
Get your copy of He Said She Said here
Hi Jay and Laura,
My husband and I bought your book at your Holland venue, last week...we decided we would read the book together, resulting in when he read a chapter; sitting in our favorite love seat (which has his/her sides) anyways, when we were done I would find the book sitting on my side of the couch, so we went on that way through the whole book....Finishing it today.
Normally, I would not write a "report" on something I read, but really felt I needed to after reading something that touched both of us deeply.
Our marriage is a second marriage for both of us, we will be married 2 years this June....knowing our marriage was blessed by God already, this book just edified that so perfectly for us....we both prayed for a spouse that resembled one defined in your book...and we knew we had it right, but did not realize HOW RIGHT:).
I discovered my husband IS a typical man and that is OK, I knew; but did not completely understand it...He discovered , there ARE FOUR WEEKS IN A MONTH :)....he always has handled that well but understands it more now....I asked him in the beginning (reading) what did you learn, he starts talking all about the divots, I thought Oh no, this is going to be a difficult read, I waited for him to finish, he then told me how this will help our marriage...it then became an easy read....:)
Laura, wow thank you for being you, sorry to say there is 2 of you and I am one of them :).on many levels..I now know I AM OK!...and I am blessed with a husband who has helped me see this and made me believe in myself again, he has spent 3 years helping me "retrain" my thoughts about myself, by showing me respect, love, and cherishing me...WOW am I BLESSED....
I am by no means a writer , but I hope I was able to express what your book has meant to us, I have an almost 18 year old son, who has been in a relationship for 3 years, and we both have suggested this be a must read book for his future...thank you all you both do.
In the end he WOULD take a bullet for me and I WILL follow him to the ends of the earth.....I should have known this from the beginning when he said(written by him) to me " If our love was like water, it would make Noah's flood look like a spring puddle"...
Blessings,
Dianne and Rick
Get your copy of He Said She Said here
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I swear I just BLINKED!
I promise I just blinked once and she went from daddy's little girl to daddy's gotta get a gun!
I know it's been said a thousand times before, but I'm reminded to relish every moment with my children...I want to laugh, linger and love like there's no tomorrow because soon I'll blink again and I'll be walking her down the aisle of a church and into the arms of some pervert!
In these days that seem so uncertain focus on the important relationships with which you've been blessed...show your kids how much you love them by giving them TIME...let them see how much you love your spouse by flirting in the kitchen and cuddling on the couch.
You were made to be a blessing so bless those nearest and dearest and when you blink you will have NO regrets!
I swear I just BLINKED!
Jay
Friday, February 26, 2010
THE KNOTS PRAYER
Dear God,
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots, and
might nots that find
a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots and should nots
that obstruct my life.
And most of all, dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind
my heart and my life all of the am nots
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen.
[forwarded by Jo Bowman] via Mikey's Funnies
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots, and
might nots that find
a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots and should nots
that obstruct my life.
And most of all, dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind
my heart and my life all of the am nots
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen.
[forwarded by Jo Bowman] via Mikey's Funnies
Thursday, February 25, 2010
OK...so we need your help!
We've got something brewing here for our conferences and need YOUR assistance. Can you please list out the "Best" and "Worst" wedding songs of all time?
Thanks~
J&L
Thanks~
J&L
Monday, February 22, 2010
An incredible opportunity to HELP!
Many of you know that we are passionately involved with Compassion International. Compassion is an fabulous organization that helps needy children in third world countries. For over 10 years now we have challenged people to get involved with Compassion and sponsor a child in need.
This Sunday Compassion is hosting a benefit concert at Ryman Auditorium in Nashville that will be shown live on the internet. See the details HERE
Compassion has been on the ground in Haiti since the devastating earth quake and is even now working to help with food water and other supplies. Here's a brief rundown:
We have approximately 15,000 sponsored children in the affected earthquake area. Accounting for each one in detail, individually, has been on ongoing task of our staff (who are also continuing to provide service to the 45,000+ children outside of the earthquake area)
• Haiti staff have filled out at least 10,040 “census” forms in effort to account for program beneficiaries
• So far, Haiti staff have distributed food kits directly to more than 30,000 people (Compassion sponsored children and their family members, as well as pastors and staff people at the churches we partner with) Each kit is intended for several people.
• 25% of food kits provided to church partners are available for distribution to community members who are in need of food but are not Compassion beneficiaries
So remember this Sunday Compassion is hosting a benefit concert at Ryman Auditorium in Nashville that will be shown live on the internet. See the details HERE
We want to encourage you to watch the concert, give generously and tell others about this wonderful opportunity to HELP!
Blessings~
Jay and Laura
This Sunday Compassion is hosting a benefit concert at Ryman Auditorium in Nashville that will be shown live on the internet. See the details HERE
Compassion has been on the ground in Haiti since the devastating earth quake and is even now working to help with food water and other supplies. Here's a brief rundown:
We have approximately 15,000 sponsored children in the affected earthquake area. Accounting for each one in detail, individually, has been on ongoing task of our staff (who are also continuing to provide service to the 45,000+ children outside of the earthquake area)
• Haiti staff have filled out at least 10,040 “census” forms in effort to account for program beneficiaries
• So far, Haiti staff have distributed food kits directly to more than 30,000 people (Compassion sponsored children and their family members, as well as pastors and staff people at the churches we partner with) Each kit is intended for several people.
• 25% of food kits provided to church partners are available for distribution to community members who are in need of food but are not Compassion beneficiaries
So remember this Sunday Compassion is hosting a benefit concert at Ryman Auditorium in Nashville that will be shown live on the internet. See the details HERE
We want to encourage you to watch the concert, give generously and tell others about this wonderful opportunity to HELP!
Blessings~
Jay and Laura
Thursday, February 18, 2010
In light of Tiger's news conference
This article is used with permission from Walden Counseling.
Increasing sexual provocation in our society has spawned an increase in the number of individuals engaging in a variety of unusual or illicit sexual practices, such as multiple affairs outside of a committed relationship, phone sex, the use of escort services, and computer pornography.
More and more we are seeing illicit sexual practices in the news from prominent figures; sport's heroes and politicians.
We will also see more and more of these individuals and their partners are seeking help.
When it comes to illicit sex offenders...society has begun to accept that they act not for sexual gratification, but rather out of a disturbed need for power, dominance, control or revenge, or a perverted expression of anger.More recently, however, an awareness of brain changes and brain reward associated with sexual behavior has led us to understand that there are also powerful sexual drives that motivate sex offenses.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders, Volume Four describes sex addiction, under the category “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” as “distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.” According to the manual, sex addiction also involves “compulsive searching for multiple partners, compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.”
Compulsive sexual behavior symptoms vary in type and severity. Some signs that you may be struggling with compulsive sexual behavior include:
* Your sexual impulses are intense and feel as if they're beyond your control.
* Even though you feel driven to engage in certain sexual behavior, you may or may not find the activity a source of pleasure or satisfaction.
* You use compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress.
* You continue to engage in risky sexual behavior despite serious consequences, such as the potential for getting or giving someone else a sexually transmitted disease, the loss of important relationships, trouble at work or legal problems.
* You have trouble establishing and maintaining emotional closeness, even if you're married or in a committed relationship.
There's a broad range of sexual activities that can be warning signs of compulsive sexual behavior. Examples include:
* Having multiple sexual partners or extramarital affairs
* Having sex with anonymous partners or prostitutes
* Avoiding emotional involvement in sexual relationships
* Using commercial sexually explicit phone and Internet services
* Engaging in excessive masturbation
* Frequently using pornographic materials
* Engaging in masochistic or sadistic sex
* Exhibitionism
* Having a fixation on an unattainable sex partner
If you are interested in learning more...an informative, sourced- site for further explanation on the characteristics of compulsive sexual behavior go to:
http://www.answers.com/topic/paraphilia
Increasing sexual provocation in our society has spawned an increase in the number of individuals engaging in a variety of unusual or illicit sexual practices, such as multiple affairs outside of a committed relationship, phone sex, the use of escort services, and computer pornography.
More and more we are seeing illicit sexual practices in the news from prominent figures; sport's heroes and politicians.
We will also see more and more of these individuals and their partners are seeking help.
When it comes to illicit sex offenders...society has begun to accept that they act not for sexual gratification, but rather out of a disturbed need for power, dominance, control or revenge, or a perverted expression of anger.More recently, however, an awareness of brain changes and brain reward associated with sexual behavior has led us to understand that there are also powerful sexual drives that motivate sex offenses.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders, Volume Four describes sex addiction, under the category “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” as “distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.” According to the manual, sex addiction also involves “compulsive searching for multiple partners, compulsive fixation on an unattainable partner, compulsive masturbation, compulsive love relationships and compulsive sexuality in a relationship.”
Compulsive sexual behavior symptoms vary in type and severity. Some signs that you may be struggling with compulsive sexual behavior include:
* Your sexual impulses are intense and feel as if they're beyond your control.
* Even though you feel driven to engage in certain sexual behavior, you may or may not find the activity a source of pleasure or satisfaction.
* You use compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress.
* You continue to engage in risky sexual behavior despite serious consequences, such as the potential for getting or giving someone else a sexually transmitted disease, the loss of important relationships, trouble at work or legal problems.
* You have trouble establishing and maintaining emotional closeness, even if you're married or in a committed relationship.
There's a broad range of sexual activities that can be warning signs of compulsive sexual behavior. Examples include:
* Having multiple sexual partners or extramarital affairs
* Having sex with anonymous partners or prostitutes
* Avoiding emotional involvement in sexual relationships
* Using commercial sexually explicit phone and Internet services
* Engaging in excessive masturbation
* Frequently using pornographic materials
* Engaging in masochistic or sadistic sex
* Exhibitionism
* Having a fixation on an unattainable sex partner
If you are interested in learning more...an informative, sourced- site for further explanation on the characteristics of compulsive sexual behavior go to:
http://www.answers.com/topic/paraphilia
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
She's my Left Handed FREAK of Nature~~
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.
This quote came across my desk this morning and reminded me of how over 25 years of marriage Laura and I have had our fair share of "disagreements"...ok let's just say it KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT BRAWLS!
We've had many fights over how to do things "RIGHT". You see Laura is left handed...that should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. To me she does everything backward and to her I do everything backward.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard her say "There's no right way or wrong way to do this." With my mouth I say "your right" but in my mind I know there is a better and BEST way to do it.
Well it's taken 25 years but this first born type "A" personality has finally learned it doesn't matter how one does the dishes or folds the clothes or makes the bed as long as it gets done...BE HAPPY!
So I'm happy! Just wish my socks matched!
Jay
This quote came across my desk this morning and reminded me of how over 25 years of marriage Laura and I have had our fair share of "disagreements"...ok let's just say it KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUT BRAWLS!
We've had many fights over how to do things "RIGHT". You see Laura is left handed...that should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. To me she does everything backward and to her I do everything backward.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard her say "There's no right way or wrong way to do this." With my mouth I say "your right" but in my mind I know there is a better and BEST way to do it.
Well it's taken 25 years but this first born type "A" personality has finally learned it doesn't matter how one does the dishes or folds the clothes or makes the bed as long as it gets done...BE HAPPY!
So I'm happy! Just wish my socks matched!
Jay
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
It's the pebble in the pond
We received this incredible video and had to share it with you.
In watching the video it made us want to ask; what is your church doing to build healthy, strong marriages?
Let us know the great things your church is doing to build marriages!
If the answer is "nothing"...we can help! Let us know and we'll help you get a marriage ministry started this MONTH!
Blessings~
J & L
In watching the video it made us want to ask; what is your church doing to build healthy, strong marriages?
Let us know the great things your church is doing to build marriages!
If the answer is "nothing"...we can help! Let us know and we'll help you get a marriage ministry started this MONTH!
Blessings~
J & L
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Valentine thoughts
Laura and I are on the road in Fayetteville, AR and Miami, OK this weekend so we thought we'd leave you with some Valentine thoughts~~
The secret of a happy marriage is to only have secrets that, when revealed, will make both people smile. Dr. Gary S. Felton
~ 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine's Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.
~ About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. That's the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.
~ February 14, 270 A.D. : Roman Emperor Claudius II, dubbed "Claudius the Cruel," beheaded a priest named Valentine for performing marriage ceremonies. Claudius II had outlawed marriages when Roman men began refusing to go to war in order to stay with their wives.
~ Hallmark has over 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day.
~ In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.
~ In the 17th century a hopeful maiden ate a hard-boiled egg and pinned five bay leaves to her pillow before going to sleep on Valentine's eve. It was believed this would make her dream of her future husband.
~ The Empire State Building in New York City played a prominent role in the movie "Sleepless in Seattle." Each year and average of 15 couples will take (or renew) their vows on the 80th floor of this famous landmark.
~ Wearing a wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand dates back to ancient Egypt, where it was believed that the vein of love ran from this finger directly to the heart.
And finally...~ In the United States, 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts.
HELLO McFly!!!! Get a clue and make your plans now!
Blessings~
J&L
The secret of a happy marriage is to only have secrets that, when revealed, will make both people smile. Dr. Gary S. Felton
~ 73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine's Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.
~ About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. That's the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.
~ February 14, 270 A.D. : Roman Emperor Claudius II, dubbed "Claudius the Cruel," beheaded a priest named Valentine for performing marriage ceremonies. Claudius II had outlawed marriages when Roman men began refusing to go to war in order to stay with their wives.
~ Hallmark has over 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day.
~ In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.
~ In the 17th century a hopeful maiden ate a hard-boiled egg and pinned five bay leaves to her pillow before going to sleep on Valentine's eve. It was believed this would make her dream of her future husband.
~ The Empire State Building in New York City played a prominent role in the movie "Sleepless in Seattle." Each year and average of 15 couples will take (or renew) their vows on the 80th floor of this famous landmark.
~ Wearing a wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand dates back to ancient Egypt, where it was believed that the vein of love ran from this finger directly to the heart.
And finally...~ In the United States, 64 percent of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts.
HELLO McFly!!!! Get a clue and make your plans now!
Blessings~
J&L
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
What Women would change about MEN!
NOTHING! At least that's what Laura says about Jay
In our new book He Said She Said we surveyed over 1000 married people on communication. On a whim we added one simple question at the end of the survey. "If you could change one thing about the opposite sex, what would it be?" OVERWHELMINGLY the women said they wished men would PAY ATTENTION!
Again what's so surprising is that most men don't realize how much they "MISS" in their marriage with their kids and especially when it comes to their wives! It makes a wife feel special when the husband notices that new hair cut and equally it makes her feel insignificant when he doesn't.
When a husband can "just tell" his wife has had a bad day and then asks her about it, she feels respected and cared for as a woman. Similarly when dad notices the kids tone of voice with mom is not appropriate and then addresses the issue without mom asking him to do so it makes her feel that she is his priority.
So guys here's the question: Why can't you pay attention to the little things?
Gotta go, Laura's coming back from the hair salon!
J&L
In our new book He Said She Said we surveyed over 1000 married people on communication. On a whim we added one simple question at the end of the survey. "If you could change one thing about the opposite sex, what would it be?" OVERWHELMINGLY the women said they wished men would PAY ATTENTION!
Again what's so surprising is that most men don't realize how much they "MISS" in their marriage with their kids and especially when it comes to their wives! It makes a wife feel special when the husband notices that new hair cut and equally it makes her feel insignificant when he doesn't.
When a husband can "just tell" his wife has had a bad day and then asks her about it, she feels respected and cared for as a woman. Similarly when dad notices the kids tone of voice with mom is not appropriate and then addresses the issue without mom asking him to do so it makes her feel that she is his priority.
So guys here's the question: Why can't you pay attention to the little things?
Gotta go, Laura's coming back from the hair salon!
J&L
Monday, February 08, 2010
What men would change about WOMEN!
In our new book He Said She Said we surveyed over 1000 married people on communication. On a whim we added one simple question at the end of the survey. "If you could change one thing about the opposite sex, what would it be?" OVERWHELMINGLY the men said they wished women would stop COMPLAINING!
What's surprising is that most women don't think they complain all that much. Women don't see comments like "This meat is hard to chew" as a complaint, but a man is thinking "At least you have something to eat." This striking difference in men and women was brought to the forefront by the reaction of many to an article written by Lori Gottleib entitled Marry Him! for The Atlantic.
Defending her article in a recent Washington Post interview Gottleib shares.
The majority of single women who responded to a survey I sent out said that getting 80 percent of what they wanted in a mate would be "settling." The majority of single men said finding a woman with 80 percent of what they wanted would be "a catch." For these women, it seemed, "settling" meant not much less than "everything."
It seems from both our survey and Ms. Gottleibs that unless everything is PERFECT women, married or not just aren't going to be happy.
So ladies here's the question: Why can't you just be happy?
Tomorrow we tackle what women would change about men!
J&L
What's surprising is that most women don't think they complain all that much. Women don't see comments like "This meat is hard to chew" as a complaint, but a man is thinking "At least you have something to eat." This striking difference in men and women was brought to the forefront by the reaction of many to an article written by Lori Gottleib entitled Marry Him! for The Atlantic.
Defending her article in a recent Washington Post interview Gottleib shares.
The majority of single women who responded to a survey I sent out said that getting 80 percent of what they wanted in a mate would be "settling." The majority of single men said finding a woman with 80 percent of what they wanted would be "a catch." For these women, it seemed, "settling" meant not much less than "everything."
It seems from both our survey and Ms. Gottleibs that unless everything is PERFECT women, married or not just aren't going to be happy.
So ladies here's the question: Why can't you just be happy?
Tomorrow we tackle what women would change about men!
J&L
Friday, February 05, 2010
Do You Coach? Do You Know a Coach?
This summer Laura and I are partnering with Pro Athlete Outreach to present three outstanding weekends for Coaches and their spouse. We will be in:
Charlotte, NC June 4-6
St. Louis, MO June 11-13
Detroit, MI July 16-18
For Coaches Time Out weekend retreat. These weekends are designed to equip and encourage coaches at all levels helping them use their coaching platform to influence and model Christ-like values.
Because of GENEROUS donors the TOTAL cost for the retreat is $195.00/couple!
The weekend includes:
2 nights hotel stay
All meals
Conference fee & materials
One of the highlights for me (Jay) will be meeting (At the Detroit conference) my childhood hero Detroit Lion Hall of Fame corner back Lem Barney!
Not an active coach? You can still join us at the regular conference rate!
Hope to see you there!
J&L
Charlotte, NC June 4-6
St. Louis, MO June 11-13
Detroit, MI July 16-18
For Coaches Time Out weekend retreat. These weekends are designed to equip and encourage coaches at all levels helping them use their coaching platform to influence and model Christ-like values.
Because of GENEROUS donors the TOTAL cost for the retreat is $195.00/couple!
The weekend includes:
2 nights hotel stay
All meals
Conference fee & materials
One of the highlights for me (Jay) will be meeting (At the Detroit conference) my childhood hero Detroit Lion Hall of Fame corner back Lem Barney!
Not an active coach? You can still join us at the regular conference rate!
Hope to see you there!
J&L
Thursday, February 04, 2010
What Tim Tebow's Superbowl Ad means for your marriage.
It's Super Bowl week and this year that means controversy over the advertisement Focus on the Family has taken out featuring Tim Tebow.
What is astounding frankly is the outrage over this ad that simply tells Tim's life story in 30 seconds. The National Organization of Women and other political groups are up in arms because Tim's mom made a CHOICE...it's simply not the choice these organizations would like women to make. On the contrary it was a choice that was self-less rather than self-serving.
For a great read from a national media outlet check out Washington Post columnist Sally Jenkins article
So what does this mean for your marriage? Simple, much like Mrs. Tebow made a choice to keep Tim, we in marriage have to CHOOSE. Choose to be self-less rather than self-serving. Choose to put your spouses needs above your own. Choose to honor your vows and commitment.
You chose at the alter
You choose everyday
It's your CHOICE!
Blessings~
J&L
What is astounding frankly is the outrage over this ad that simply tells Tim's life story in 30 seconds. The National Organization of Women and other political groups are up in arms because Tim's mom made a CHOICE...it's simply not the choice these organizations would like women to make. On the contrary it was a choice that was self-less rather than self-serving.
For a great read from a national media outlet check out Washington Post columnist Sally Jenkins article
So what does this mean for your marriage? Simple, much like Mrs. Tebow made a choice to keep Tim, we in marriage have to CHOOSE. Choose to be self-less rather than self-serving. Choose to put your spouses needs above your own. Choose to honor your vows and commitment.
You chose at the alter
You choose everyday
It's your CHOICE!
Blessings~
J&L
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
We just can't make this stuff up!
People ask us all the time if the stories we write about or tell on stage are true. Of course they are true, and here's photographic proof.
Last night I was frustrated because my shaving lotion wasn't pumping properly out of the bottle. So after showering we came down stairs and I was bound and determined to find the cause of the blockage.
Being a dutiful wife, Laura offered her assistance as I attempted to "fix" the pump. For those of you who don't know me well, I am "mechanically challenged" to say the least! More often than not I break things that I am trying to fix. Well last night was no different...
While prying the lid off the container, it never occurred to either Laura or myself that the contents might be under pressure. The precise moment we found out was when the bottle EXPLODED! Shaving cream could then be found all over our kitchen counter, on the kitchen ceiling, and most importantly...all over Laura. Ironically not a drop was to be found on me!
So the next time you wonder...does that REALLY happen to Jay & Laura? Remember, you've seen it first hand!
Blessings~
J&L
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
He was BEAMING!
This weekend in Gaylord, we ran into our good friends Randy and Karen Kruzel. Ever since Karen was in High School(Randy is a taaaaad bit older) anyone who knew them knew they were going to get married. They'll celebrate 25 years of marriage here in 2010!
Anyway I want to give you a little background on Randy. He is what most people would call "A man's man". Randy was a state champion wrestler in high school who's body is as rock hard as it was when he was 18. He owns an excavating business and works with big machinery all day long. He hunts and still plays basketball and softball at full tilt. No one who knows Randy would ever accuse him of being "soft".
I say all of that because he really impressed me with the way he talked about Karen after our show. He was relaying how at this point in their life they have a lot more time together and how they absolutely love being together.
What really struck me as amazing was the glow that came to Randy's face as he was talking about his wife. I mean he was BEAMING like a bride on her wedding day! He was giddy, his eyes danced and you could just tell that this "Man's Man" was in love!
Whether you are a "Man's Man" or not, the next time you are talking about your spouse remember that glow that comes from the love you share...having trouble look at your wedding photo's and remember the spouse of your youth~~
Thanks Randy for inspiring ME!
Jay~
Anyway I want to give you a little background on Randy. He is what most people would call "A man's man". Randy was a state champion wrestler in high school who's body is as rock hard as it was when he was 18. He owns an excavating business and works with big machinery all day long. He hunts and still plays basketball and softball at full tilt. No one who knows Randy would ever accuse him of being "soft".
I say all of that because he really impressed me with the way he talked about Karen after our show. He was relaying how at this point in their life they have a lot more time together and how they absolutely love being together.
What really struck me as amazing was the glow that came to Randy's face as he was talking about his wife. I mean he was BEAMING like a bride on her wedding day! He was giddy, his eyes danced and you could just tell that this "Man's Man" was in love!
Whether you are a "Man's Man" or not, the next time you are talking about your spouse remember that glow that comes from the love you share...having trouble look at your wedding photo's and remember the spouse of your youth~~
Thanks Randy for inspiring ME!
Jay~
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Change your marriage TODAY!
The University of California at Berkeley just released a study showing that couples who say "we" instead of "me" are happier. http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/22748
We have been marriage educators for 15 years and are strong proponents of the concept studied by UC Berkeley. In our book The Spark –Igniting Passion Mystery and Romance in Your Marriage. (Baker Publishing 2008). We discuss the purpose of marriage and how to build intimacy in all aspects of your relationship.
One of the key ways we tell couples they can become closer/more intimate is to eliminate the words I, me, and my from their vocabulary and replace them with we, us, and ours. Couples are amazed at how this one simple act impacts attitudes toward each other. This is also a particularly powerful tool when dealing with children. As most parents know children will play mom and dad against each other.
When approached by a child or teen about a subject that could prove controversial (ie spending the night at a friend’s house where you don’t know the family) operating as a single unit (we) can provide incredible stability and structure to the family. Simply answer the child by saying “That’s something your mom and I need to discuss and when we have and answer we’ll get back to you.”
We’re grateful to UC Berkley for quantifying this time tested truth!
Celebrate Your Marriage~~
Jay and Laura
We have been marriage educators for 15 years and are strong proponents of the concept studied by UC Berkeley. In our book The Spark –Igniting Passion Mystery and Romance in Your Marriage. (Baker Publishing 2008). We discuss the purpose of marriage and how to build intimacy in all aspects of your relationship.
One of the key ways we tell couples they can become closer/more intimate is to eliminate the words I, me, and my from their vocabulary and replace them with we, us, and ours. Couples are amazed at how this one simple act impacts attitudes toward each other. This is also a particularly powerful tool when dealing with children. As most parents know children will play mom and dad against each other.
When approached by a child or teen about a subject that could prove controversial (ie spending the night at a friend’s house where you don’t know the family) operating as a single unit (we) can provide incredible stability and structure to the family. Simply answer the child by saying “That’s something your mom and I need to discuss and when we have and answer we’ll get back to you.”
We’re grateful to UC Berkley for quantifying this time tested truth!
Celebrate Your Marriage~~
Jay and Laura
Friday, January 29, 2010
A Marriage Question not a Political Question
As you read this PLEASE know I'm not making a Political statement here...just got me thinking.
It is said by many "pundits" that Barack Obama never has and never will admit that he is wrong. It made me ask the question, how would that translate in his marriage?
Never admitting your wrong in any relationship leads to hurt feelings, lifelong emotional scars, and dysfunction that is unimaginable.
To never admit you're wrong in marriage means that your marriage will never experience the POWER of forgiveness the JOY of grace received or the DEEP LOVE that comes from reconciliation.
My mom has said that great marriages are made by two great forgivers...I disagree, I think great marriages are made by THREE great forgivers. The Father has shown us how, now we need to trust each other, admit when we're wrong and forgive.
Never admitting your wrong may be good "politics" but it's lousy on relationships.
What do you think?
Celebrate!
Jay
It is said by many "pundits" that Barack Obama never has and never will admit that he is wrong. It made me ask the question, how would that translate in his marriage?
Never admitting your wrong in any relationship leads to hurt feelings, lifelong emotional scars, and dysfunction that is unimaginable.
To never admit you're wrong in marriage means that your marriage will never experience the POWER of forgiveness the JOY of grace received or the DEEP LOVE that comes from reconciliation.
My mom has said that great marriages are made by two great forgivers...I disagree, I think great marriages are made by THREE great forgivers. The Father has shown us how, now we need to trust each other, admit when we're wrong and forgive.
Never admitting your wrong may be good "politics" but it's lousy on relationships.
What do you think?
Celebrate!
Jay
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Do you like Pina Colada's?
Do you remember the old 70's song entitled "The Pina Colada Song"?
The song tells the story of a man and a woman who've lost the "magic" of their relationship and in the pre-electronic age of the 70's took out a "personal ad" in their local newspaper...for you younger folks think Craig's List or Match.com...
In her Ad she writes:
"If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape"
After reading the ad he responds:
"Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape."
They meet in the bar and realize the love that they were DREAMING of had been at their side all along.
Many marriages fall into a similar routine where couples just take each other for granted not realizing that the TRUE man or woman of your dreams is already right by your side!
So...do something crazy...share a Pina Colada...take a walk in the rain or snow...make love tonight at midnight (even though its SOOOO late) just do something that reminds you that you did marry the man or woman of your dreams!
Celebrate!
J&L
The song tells the story of a man and a woman who've lost the "magic" of their relationship and in the pre-electronic age of the 70's took out a "personal ad" in their local newspaper...for you younger folks think Craig's List or Match.com...
In her Ad she writes:
"If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape"
After reading the ad he responds:
"Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape."
They meet in the bar and realize the love that they were DREAMING of had been at their side all along.
Many marriages fall into a similar routine where couples just take each other for granted not realizing that the TRUE man or woman of your dreams is already right by your side!
So...do something crazy...share a Pina Colada...take a walk in the rain or snow...make love tonight at midnight (even though its SOOOO late) just do something that reminds you that you did marry the man or woman of your dreams!
Celebrate!
J&L
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
A question for the ladies~
Ladies, do you remember when you were in Jr and Sr high school how your mom would pull you aside before a dance or party and say: "Now you be careful around those boys...you know boys only 'think' about one thing!"
So here's my question ladies...why when you are sitting silently with your husband do you ask: "What are you 'thinking'"?
Well?
Jay
So here's my question ladies...why when you are sitting silently with your husband do you ask: "What are you 'thinking'"?
Well?
Jay
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
God Enjoys A Good Laugh!
This came across our desk today...all very compelling arguments!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He got up because there was still work to do
Remember to laugh out loud...it's good for your health!!
J&L
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He got up because there was still work to do
Remember to laugh out loud...it's good for your health!!
J&L
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