The University of California at Berkeley just released a study showing that couples who say "we" instead of "me" are happier. http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/22748
We have been marriage educators for 15 years and are strong proponents of the concept studied by UC Berkeley. In our book The Spark –Igniting Passion Mystery and Romance in Your Marriage. (Baker Publishing 2008). We discuss the purpose of marriage and how to build intimacy in all aspects of your relationship.
One of the key ways we tell couples they can become closer/more intimate is to eliminate the words I, me, and my from their vocabulary and replace them with we, us, and ours. Couples are amazed at how this one simple act impacts attitudes toward each other. This is also a particularly powerful tool when dealing with children. As most parents know children will play mom and dad against each other.
When approached by a child or teen about a subject that could prove controversial (ie spending the night at a friend’s house where you don’t know the family) operating as a single unit (we) can provide incredible stability and structure to the family. Simply answer the child by saying “That’s something your mom and I need to discuss and when we have and answer we’ll get back to you.”
We’re grateful to UC Berkley for quantifying this time tested truth!
Celebrate Your Marriage~~
Jay and Laura
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