I've never been much of a "hugger", more of a hand shake kind of guy. But watch out I'm gonna start with the HUGS.
It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday (Saturday) about 1pm as we stood on the front steps of Sammy Morris Hall at Taylor University and said our final goodbyes to our son Torrey who is beginning his Freshman year.
To say it was an emotional couple of days is an understatement. As we stood on the steps we gathered in a family circle and I babbled out a prayer. In between the tears and the crackled voice I sneaked a peak at Grace who was oblivious to what was happening and Laura who was sobbing uncontrollably. Torrey stood there with a big grin on his face undoubtedly excited by the prospect of the coming days.
After my Amen I said "Hugs all around" and Torrey first went to Grace and they hugged as if they really did love each other, then to Mom...still sobbing (by the way, Laura has NEVER been a crier), then finally to me.
My love language is "Words of affirmation" and as a result there is no greater joy than for me to hear a loved one say "I love You". As I voiced my love to Torrey and heard the sincerity of his "I love you too, dad" I was struck for what seemed like the longest time by the bear hug he was giving me...Obviously, I didn't want it to end...but in that frozen moment I felt the Spirit of the Lord in a way I've never felt before. I had PEACE, unimaginable PEACE.
We all sat silent as we made our way out of Upland...Grace already on her Nintendo DS...Laura "sawing" through Kleenex like a lumberjack through pine. And me reflecting on the power of that HUG!
Being a "words" man I began to ask myself, what are "HUGS"...you may or may not agree but I know hold the conviction that HUGS are Humans Unleashing God's Spirit.
HUGS
A mother comforting her newborn
Dear friends reunited
Mourning friends at a funeral
Christian Brothers and Sisters worshiping
Young lovers on a beach
Old lovers on a couch
Moms Dads and siblings on a porch of a college dorm
All these and more are opportunities for us to UNLEASH God's Spirit on a world in desperate need of not only PEACE, but JOY and the LOVE of the Father. Let's not miss out on the chance to spread this virus and infect the world with H.U.G.S!
Start simple...HUGS to your spouse, children, grandchildren...friends, neighbors, those who are hurting, those who are joyful, just give HUGS!
HUGS to YOU E-style!
Jay
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
A PG-13 Article we wrote for Cosmo~
Your Best Sex Ever!
Sex techniques are a dime a dozen. We’re not going to give you the hot new way to wiggle your fingers and make your man squirm. What we are going to give you are three proven techniques to have the best sex your man will ever enjoy!
While spontaneous sex has its place in a relationship, it is usually not the BEST sex a couple will experience. Much like birthdays, vacations and holidays, the best sex is filled with anticipation. Why? Because anticipation engages your mans largest sex organ, his brain. Anticipation then is the first technique you must employ to have your best sex ever.
How to induce Anticipation
There is no doubt that women have incredible power over men in the bedroom. With a look, a brush of the body or even a fragrance virtually any woman can have her man ready for sex. The key to great sex is to get him thinking about you all day long and about what you have planned for him later on that night.
Where to begin? First thing in the morning! Before you or your boy toy leave in the morning, spark the seduction by giving him a full frontal hug. No need to be in lingerie, or even be naked. The key to sparking the seduction is to simply make sure that when you hug him, you stand on your tiptoes, put your arms around his neck and make sure your breasts press against him in an upward manner not down. This subtle move will get his attention very quickly. Don’t worry about your size, he doesn’t care about size. What he cares about is that they are your breasts and that they soon will be his.
While you’ve got him in your grasp, melt his mind; make him worthless at work because he’s only thinking of you by whispering “I’ve got something special planned for you tonight”. The combination of your words in his ear and your chest in his face will induce a drug like anticipation that will last the entire day.
Attitude is everything
The second technique to insure your best sex ever is to show your man an attitude that says to him, “any time, any place, I’m YOURS!” Most men don’t want to have sex every night. What he does want to know is that his woman would have sex with him every night! Wow!
Your attitude toward sex will continue to keep his engine revved and ready to go. Every woman on the planet can be seductive without special articles of clothing or magic oils, why because seduction is all about attitude. Your man has been hot for you all day since you slammed your chest into his and gave him a little something to steam over all day. Now it’s time to fan the flame and turn up the heat.
The key to a great attitude toward sex is to clear your brain, it may sound funny, but your mind too is your biggest sex organ and if your brain is filled with the day’s trouble at work or the bills that need to be paid, your attitude will reflect your distraction.
So, how do you clear your brain and bring get in the right frame of mind? It may be a hot soak in a long bath. It may be a manicure or a pedicure. But it is essential to set your attitude before you meet your man for dinner or better yet cook that dinner together.
Cooking together is a perfect way to make that sexual attitude come to life. Flirt when you cook, press up against his back as he’s chopping those veggies and ask “What are you making”? Lick the salad dressing off your fingers, and then ask him to lick the last digit and moan in response. The anticipation that has been simmering all day will begin to boil over as he picks up on your attitude toward the night ahead.
Articulate to Matriculate
Men are ignorant, not stupid. Ignorance can be educated and when you articulate your desires in the bedroom, it not only leads to the best sex ever, it will lead to healthier communication throughout the entire house. The third and most important sex technique then is to articulate your desires to your man.
You’ve sparked the seduction by creating a sense of anticipation, fanned the flame with your attitude. Basically you’ve been engaging in sexual foreplay all day long. As you head to the bedroom it is important to remember that for him to have his best sex ever, he needs to know you are having your best sex ever. So be sure to tell him.
You’ve basically been blowing his mind with your day of foreplay. He will have one thing on his brain as he enters the bedroom. Know full well that while he is singularly focused, he still wants to see you, touch you, smell you, taste you, and most importantly HEAR you.
As you culminate this day of love together, tell him what makes you happy. Tell him what drives you CRAZY. He will hear your moans and other pleasure sounds, but nothing will cement your desires in his mind like you articulating the specifics of what drives you wild!
Simple phrases like “oooh that feels good” or “not there” “faster” “slower” are critical for men. We don’t get nuance or innuendo and when you tell him what’s good and what’s great, it will help him help you create the best sex you’ve ever experienced.
The latest greatest techniques are so over rated. Don’t you think lovers over the centuries have seen technique come and go? So, don’t worry if you’re holding your hand just so, or if your back is arched just right. Use the techniques of Anticipation, Attitude and Articulation to create the best sex you’ve ever known. And when your bathing in the afterglow, rock his world by whispering in his ear “I can’t wait to do it all again, tomorrow~”
Sex techniques are a dime a dozen. We’re not going to give you the hot new way to wiggle your fingers and make your man squirm. What we are going to give you are three proven techniques to have the best sex your man will ever enjoy!
While spontaneous sex has its place in a relationship, it is usually not the BEST sex a couple will experience. Much like birthdays, vacations and holidays, the best sex is filled with anticipation. Why? Because anticipation engages your mans largest sex organ, his brain. Anticipation then is the first technique you must employ to have your best sex ever.
How to induce Anticipation
There is no doubt that women have incredible power over men in the bedroom. With a look, a brush of the body or even a fragrance virtually any woman can have her man ready for sex. The key to great sex is to get him thinking about you all day long and about what you have planned for him later on that night.
Where to begin? First thing in the morning! Before you or your boy toy leave in the morning, spark the seduction by giving him a full frontal hug. No need to be in lingerie, or even be naked. The key to sparking the seduction is to simply make sure that when you hug him, you stand on your tiptoes, put your arms around his neck and make sure your breasts press against him in an upward manner not down. This subtle move will get his attention very quickly. Don’t worry about your size, he doesn’t care about size. What he cares about is that they are your breasts and that they soon will be his.
While you’ve got him in your grasp, melt his mind; make him worthless at work because he’s only thinking of you by whispering “I’ve got something special planned for you tonight”. The combination of your words in his ear and your chest in his face will induce a drug like anticipation that will last the entire day.
Attitude is everything
The second technique to insure your best sex ever is to show your man an attitude that says to him, “any time, any place, I’m YOURS!” Most men don’t want to have sex every night. What he does want to know is that his woman would have sex with him every night! Wow!
Your attitude toward sex will continue to keep his engine revved and ready to go. Every woman on the planet can be seductive without special articles of clothing or magic oils, why because seduction is all about attitude. Your man has been hot for you all day since you slammed your chest into his and gave him a little something to steam over all day. Now it’s time to fan the flame and turn up the heat.
The key to a great attitude toward sex is to clear your brain, it may sound funny, but your mind too is your biggest sex organ and if your brain is filled with the day’s trouble at work or the bills that need to be paid, your attitude will reflect your distraction.
So, how do you clear your brain and bring get in the right frame of mind? It may be a hot soak in a long bath. It may be a manicure or a pedicure. But it is essential to set your attitude before you meet your man for dinner or better yet cook that dinner together.
Cooking together is a perfect way to make that sexual attitude come to life. Flirt when you cook, press up against his back as he’s chopping those veggies and ask “What are you making”? Lick the salad dressing off your fingers, and then ask him to lick the last digit and moan in response. The anticipation that has been simmering all day will begin to boil over as he picks up on your attitude toward the night ahead.
Articulate to Matriculate
Men are ignorant, not stupid. Ignorance can be educated and when you articulate your desires in the bedroom, it not only leads to the best sex ever, it will lead to healthier communication throughout the entire house. The third and most important sex technique then is to articulate your desires to your man.
You’ve sparked the seduction by creating a sense of anticipation, fanned the flame with your attitude. Basically you’ve been engaging in sexual foreplay all day long. As you head to the bedroom it is important to remember that for him to have his best sex ever, he needs to know you are having your best sex ever. So be sure to tell him.
You’ve basically been blowing his mind with your day of foreplay. He will have one thing on his brain as he enters the bedroom. Know full well that while he is singularly focused, he still wants to see you, touch you, smell you, taste you, and most importantly HEAR you.
As you culminate this day of love together, tell him what makes you happy. Tell him what drives you CRAZY. He will hear your moans and other pleasure sounds, but nothing will cement your desires in his mind like you articulating the specifics of what drives you wild!
Simple phrases like “oooh that feels good” or “not there” “faster” “slower” are critical for men. We don’t get nuance or innuendo and when you tell him what’s good and what’s great, it will help him help you create the best sex you’ve ever experienced.
The latest greatest techniques are so over rated. Don’t you think lovers over the centuries have seen technique come and go? So, don’t worry if you’re holding your hand just so, or if your back is arched just right. Use the techniques of Anticipation, Attitude and Articulation to create the best sex you’ve ever known. And when your bathing in the afterglow, rock his world by whispering in his ear “I can’t wait to do it all again, tomorrow~”
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Just a question...
So...if a church doesn't address marriage on Sunday morning for a year, does that mean there are 52 things more important than marriage...or does it mean the church is clueless?
Thoughts?
Blessings~
J&L
Thoughts?
Blessings~
J&L
Friday, August 07, 2009
This story reminded me of YOU!
I read this story from Mikey's Funnies and it hit me that we haven't written in a while. Well summer in Michigan is such a treat and we "suffer" through such long winters that we just end up spending too much time outside! Vacations, getting ready for college and a few conferences are to blame as well.
Non-the-less when I read this email I thought I MUST share it!
One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.
Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat: "Mom, I'm thinking of something."
This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that his seven-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.
"What are you thinking?" I asked.
"The rain," he began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."
After the chill bumps raced up my arms, I was able to respond.
"That's really good, Matthew."
Then my curiosity broke in. How far would my little boy take this revelation?
So I asked, "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"
Matthew didn't hesitate one moment with his answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."
I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.
today'sTHOT============================
Never try to drown your sorrows. They can swim.
Blessings and thank God for windshield wipers!
Jay
Non-the-less when I read this email I thought I MUST share it!
One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.
Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat: "Mom, I'm thinking of something."
This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that his seven-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.
"What are you thinking?" I asked.
"The rain," he began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."
After the chill bumps raced up my arms, I was able to respond.
"That's really good, Matthew."
Then my curiosity broke in. How far would my little boy take this revelation?
So I asked, "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"
Matthew didn't hesitate one moment with his answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."
I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.
today'sTHOT============================
Never try to drown your sorrows. They can swim.
Blessings and thank God for windshield wipers!
Jay
Monday, July 13, 2009
OOPS! I forgot!

Saturday July 11, 2009. Jay, Grace and I are in Orlando,FL packing up and heading back to Michigan. As we are packing and cleaning out the hotel room of all our stuff, I had this feeling that I was forgetting something. What could it be? I checked the bathroom, the closet, the drawers, under the bed...everything....we had it all cleaned out. Yet, I still had that "I am forgetting something" feeling. We got on the plane...it was still there. I continued to ask Grace if she had everything...her books, her contacts, her games. She had it all! Yet....I was sure I was forgetting something.
Sunday July 12, 2009. Back home. We are unpacked and we seem to have everything we left with.....that feeling is still there. I cannot shake it! It is beginning to drive me nuts. I do as I always do and just put it out of my mind. We came home with everything. We did not forget a thing. So push it out of my mind. I did that successfully until late Sunday night....
Jay and I are watching one of our favorite TV shows, Eli Stone. Eli was talking to his father in a vision because his father is no longer alive. AHHHHHHHH! The tears began to flow....not Eli but Laura.....as Eli talked to his father I remembered what I forgot!
July 11 was the day my father passed away! That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach was due to the fact that for 25 years I had not forgot that day and this year I had.
I was trying to decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing that I forgot? Life does go on and my dad would have wanted us to go on with life and enjoy it as he did. Yet I never want to forget the smile he had when he laughed or the way the man could sing!I have not forgotten those things about him and I have not forgotten him, and in many ways, I am very much like him. I think it is okay that I forgot July 11 on July 11.....I remembered on July 12th!
While I may not always remember the day my dad died, I will always remember my dad.
By the way, My dad is the one with the pipe and I am the smiley one!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Is something missing or am I missing something?
This story makes me think of the beautiful things I miss in my spouse...EVERYDAY!
Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later:
the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes:
A3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.
45 minutes:
The musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace.
He collected $32.
1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ....How many other things are we missing?
Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.
4 minutes later:
the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.
6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.
10 minutes:
A3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.
45 minutes:
The musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace.
He collected $32.
1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?
One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ....How many other things are we missing?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Didn't fight the battle...but we won the war!

So many parents need to learn to pick their battles! Jay and I have learned over the years that there are certain battles we will fight and others just are not worth it when it comes to the kids. Hair, earrings, etc....just are not that big of a deal. This year Torrey has gone from hair that is well kept to dreadlocks to long hair.
He has gone thru many hairstyle changes and many times I did not like the way it looked! I kept my mouth shut and let him be who he is....his favorite line along the way has been, "It is all a part of my journey, Mom". Well this journey has come full circle! Yesterday he went and got a hair cut all on his own.
I realised that we chose our battle well with his hair. we let him explore who he is and he came to the "correct" conclusion all on his own! We have our boy...oops..young man back! Short well kept hair and all!
You see we did not have to fight that battle but we still won the war!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Do you have a good marriage or a GREAT one?

A good friend of mine sent me an article he wrote I use the following paragraph with his permission.
In Jim Collins’ book, Good to Great, he states that good is the enemy of great. This principle holds true in marriage as well. If you fit into 90% of marriages today, you have adjusted your dream to settle for a good marriage instead of great. God intended for you to have a great marriage. You can have the great marriage that God intended or you can stay with the good marriage that you have. Don’t settle for good, go for great. Place marriage first.
So...how about you?
J & L
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Run a step at a time




So yesterday I had way to much chocolate! I love chocolate and especialy chocolate that is drenched over popcorn, rice krispy treats, and pretzels!
As a result of the popcorn treats that I consumed during all day meetings I felt an obligation to go on a very long run....for me that is 4.5 miles. So off Jay and I went.
During my run, in order to keep my mind focused on running and not my wheezing lungs, I began to contemplate the lessons that can be learned from running as it pertains to life. Here are a few observations:
1.Our run, no matter which way we go, begins with a hill! Yesterday as we began, Jay said, "Just focus on getting up that hill." So that is what I did and before I knew it I was at the top. At two other points in our run, we encounter hills. These happen to fall at mile 2.5 to 4.0! Right at the point that I am ready to be done! Again Jay says, " Just focus on getting up that hill." Again, before I knew it, I was at the top.
My point is this....we all have hills in life. We need to focus on one hill at time- getting up those hills one at a time. We cannot look at the hill that might be at mile 2.5 or 4.0 in our life, we have to focus on the now! Before you know it you will be at the top.
2. As I was running, we were keeping a pretty good pace.Actually a much faster pace than I normally keep. I am convinced it was the chocolate! Anyway, I knew I was running faster, but just kept looking right in front of me and saying to myself, "Keep your breathing steady." I ran the entire 4.5 miles faster than normal.
In life we must keep steady. We cannot allow the unexpected challenges to throw us off balance. When we stay steady, we can do alot more than we would have first thought possible.
3. Jay and I run together. It is a great time to talk but it is a great encouraging time as well. Yesterday, I would not have made that 4.5 miles needless to say at the pace I ran it, if it were not for Jay beside me the entire time encouraging me, "you can do it!" " Just focus on this hill." " WOW! You are doing great!"
I think we can face anything life throws at us if we have someone with us encouraging us along the journey. A marriage is so much more than the wedding. It is so much more than what the media wants us to believe. A marriage is a man and a woman, who have said to each other that whatever might come our way, we are in this together, for the long haul (or run!). "Til death do us part".
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Dance, Dance, Dance!

Okay so I did it! For years, ever since I quit as a 6 year old, I have wanted to take tap lessons. Well, as many of you know, I did this year. Last fall, I started taking tap at The Academy of Performing Arts, www.apafrancis.com/ I had an absolute blast!
In January, when my instructor, Judiy Swartz said we were going to do a piece from the play, Wicked, I was excited until I learned I was going to play a witch! However, it turned out just fine! I played Alfaba, the green but good witch. My dance partner was Glinda, the beautiful but mean witch. Of course, my dance partner is only 19 so of course she played the beautiful witch!
This weekend was The Academy's recital weekend. I have never been so nervouse in my entire life! I make a living on the stage but this was different! I had to tap dance in front of an audience, and an audience from a very small town where many of us know each other! My only saving grace was my face had to be painted green! I figured maybe people would not recognize me!
The weekend has come to an end. Sad to say...but I look forward to next year. Tap is a blast and it keeps my mind sharp! It is not easy but it is fun! I think we all have to think of things to do that stretch us in our minds and our bodies. It keeps us young and sharp. What is something you have always wanted to do and have not done it yet? Do it!
Next on the list...scuba diving!
Friday, June 05, 2009
A great lesson for those of us (Jay) with anger issues~~
Ron, a 9-year old boy, was being raised by his mother who didn't know how to cope with his uncontrollable temper. She knew he was angry that his father had abandoned him and she tried professional counseling, but nothing seemed to work.
So she sent Ron to spend the summer on his grandparent's farm. When he came home, he was a changed boy. His mom asked him what happened and he told her that every time he got mad or said anything unkind, Grandpa made him go outside and hammer a big two-inch nail into a two by four. It was hard, and he wasn't allowed back until the nail was all the way in.
After about 20 trips to the shed to get the tools, he decided it was easier to control his temper than hammer those long nails.
"Did you change because you hated the consequences so much?" she asked.
"Well, that was part of it," he said. "After I'd nailed in all the nails and was behaving better, Grandma took me outside and made me pull them out. That was even harder. When I was done, she gave me this note."
He showed it to her, and this is what she read:
"Pulling out the nails is like saying you're sorry. But the holes still remain in the board. You can't fix things by being sorry, but you can stop making new holes. Remember, every time you do something mean and nasty, you're making a hole somewhere in someone. That's what your dad did to you. Please don't do it to anyone else. You’re better than that."
Walking this journey together~
Jay
So she sent Ron to spend the summer on his grandparent's farm. When he came home, he was a changed boy. His mom asked him what happened and he told her that every time he got mad or said anything unkind, Grandpa made him go outside and hammer a big two-inch nail into a two by four. It was hard, and he wasn't allowed back until the nail was all the way in.
After about 20 trips to the shed to get the tools, he decided it was easier to control his temper than hammer those long nails.
"Did you change because you hated the consequences so much?" she asked.
"Well, that was part of it," he said. "After I'd nailed in all the nails and was behaving better, Grandma took me outside and made me pull them out. That was even harder. When I was done, she gave me this note."
He showed it to her, and this is what she read:
"Pulling out the nails is like saying you're sorry. But the holes still remain in the board. You can't fix things by being sorry, but you can stop making new holes. Remember, every time you do something mean and nasty, you're making a hole somewhere in someone. That's what your dad did to you. Please don't do it to anyone else. You’re better than that."
Walking this journey together~
Jay
Friday, May 29, 2009
Garbage Trucks
Oh is it a stressful time here. Graduation practice, Academic Honors banquets, getting ready for the Graduation open house and of course Graduation...oh and by the way, RELATIVES in town for the big event.
Well, we plan ahead and work hard at de-stressing when we see potential times of stress coming. We fight together to make ours a house of peace when others are going CRAZY. In the midst of this time I got an email from my friend Mike who posts a daily "funny" we thought today's was particularly insightful for those stress filled times!
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, "Why did you just do that? That guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage -- frustration, anger, disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
[forwarded by Amelia Lanning]
today'sTHOT============================
Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.
Well, we plan ahead and work hard at de-stressing when we see potential times of stress coming. We fight together to make ours a house of peace when others are going CRAZY. In the midst of this time I got an email from my friend Mike who posts a daily "funny" we thought today's was particularly insightful for those stress filled times!
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, "Why did you just do that? That guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage -- frustration, anger, disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.
Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.
Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
[forwarded by Amelia Lanning]
today'sTHOT============================
Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.
Friday, May 22, 2009
A Big Night for my little buddy~

Ok so he's not so little anymore~~
Torrey Graduates from High School next Sunday, but in my mind it happened last night. Last night was our church youth group's annual Senior Honors Banquet. We ate of course and had the youth worship band lead us in some songs. Then came time to honor the kids, when Dean Humphrey (Torrey's small group leader) reflected on Torrey's time in the youth group he said how much he appreciated the way Torrey stepped up to be a leader through out his time in youth.
That was cool, but what made the evening for me (besides my son initiating a hug with a BIG "I love you dad") was the message Torrey left on the "Senior wall". Along with his name and a TU for Taylor University he left the following quote and scripture:
"Today is a gift live as though your debt has been paid"
Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil. Romans 16:19
While I REALLY don't want to let him go...he's ready!
J & L
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Just one of the emails from this weekend
I just wanted to let you know how important what you are doing is (in case you don't know!) My husband and I attended Celebrate 3 years ago for the first time. We were beginning to go through some very hard and painful things which at that time we could not foresee other than we knew it would be bad. The conference was great and helped to begin some healing that helped us stay together through the stormy times that were lying ahead...we were heading into the biggest crisis of our 21 years together.
We just returned home from Mackinac Island after attending our 2nd Celebrate with you. We weren't sure we should spend the money, and decided at the last minute to come. We weren't disappointed. The messages and interaction that you both along with Ken stimulated reminded us how precious and fragile our relationship is and how rewarding it is to keep at it. We have been married 24 years this summer and received the guidance needed to remember why we made this decision, are still together and want to continue into the future for a long time.
We didn't even turn on the radio on the way home (a 3 hour trip) and actually "communicated" all the way. As a matter of fact, we remarked that when our 20 year old daughter is married, we sure hope you are still providing the ministry to couples that is helping the survival of the endangered condition called marriage!
God bless you both and thank you for all you do!
Dawn F
Unionville, MI
We just returned home from Mackinac Island after attending our 2nd Celebrate with you. We weren't sure we should spend the money, and decided at the last minute to come. We weren't disappointed. The messages and interaction that you both along with Ken stimulated reminded us how precious and fragile our relationship is and how rewarding it is to keep at it. We have been married 24 years this summer and received the guidance needed to remember why we made this decision, are still together and want to continue into the future for a long time.
We didn't even turn on the radio on the way home (a 3 hour trip) and actually "communicated" all the way. As a matter of fact, we remarked that when our 20 year old daughter is married, we sure hope you are still providing the ministry to couples that is helping the survival of the endangered condition called marriage!
God bless you both and thank you for all you do!
Dawn F
Unionville, MI
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Just a thought~~
We're heading to Mackinac first thing in the morning to be with over 800 married people helping them Celebrate their marriage...
Would you consider taking 1 minute to breathe a prayer for ALL marriages right now? It's truly the best course of action!
Thanks~
Jay & Laura
Would you consider taking 1 minute to breathe a prayer for ALL marriages right now? It's truly the best course of action!
Thanks~
Jay & Laura
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Getting Away~~~
Ok just so you know, Laura and I do try to practice what we preach...We're getting away for a couple of days.
So...When's your next getaway with your spouse?
It's one of the best things you can do for:
You
Your spouse
Your Kids
Your Grand kids
Your Church
Your Job
Your Friends
Your Health
Your Wealth
Your Mind
Ok you get the point...as my friend Bob "Coach" Schuemann says: "I know it...now I just gotta do it!"
GO forth and LIVE!
Jay
So...When's your next getaway with your spouse?
It's one of the best things you can do for:
You
Your spouse
Your Kids
Your Grand kids
Your Church
Your Job
Your Friends
Your Health
Your Wealth
Your Mind
Ok you get the point...as my friend Bob "Coach" Schuemann says: "I know it...now I just gotta do it!"
GO forth and LIVE!
Jay
Monday, May 11, 2009
Clay Balls
This was passed on to me by a friend from the PGA tour...great message!
Clay Balls
A man was exploring caves by the Seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.
He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock . Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!
Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.
Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!
It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it.
We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.
There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.
I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.
APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU HAVE, ESPECIALLY YOUR FRIENDS!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND FRIENDS ARE TOO FEW!
Have a Blessed day~
Jay & Laura
Clay Balls
A man was exploring caves by the Seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.
He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock . Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!
Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.
Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!
It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it.
We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.
There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.
I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.
APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU HAVE, ESPECIALLY YOUR FRIENDS!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND FRIENDS ARE TOO FEW!
Have a Blessed day~
Jay & Laura
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Mother's Day
We leave for Albuquerque first thing Friday morning and won't return until late Sunday (MOTHER'S DAY...just a reminder!). So, I thought I'd pass along this little tribute to mom's everywhere, including my mom and my wonderful wife Laura, the mother of my children. Enjoy!
REAL MOTHERS...
Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried Playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask, "Why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "Because I love you best."
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade. It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...
=======================================
THE IMAGES OF MOTHER
4 years old: My Mommy can do anything!
8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years old: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years old: That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years old: Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years old: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years old: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 years old: Wish I could talk it over with Mom
Give your Mom a hug every chance you get!
Jay
REAL MOTHERS...
Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried Playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask, "Why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "Because I love you best."
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade. It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...
=======================================
THE IMAGES OF MOTHER
4 years old: My Mommy can do anything!
8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years old: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years old: That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years old: Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years old: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years old: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 years old: Wish I could talk it over with Mom
Give your Mom a hug every chance you get!
Jay
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Fatherhood...It really is tougher on the kids!
Springtime with a Senior in the house can only be described in one word...CHAOS! For this anal retentive dad, CHAOS is never welcome. Torrey is moving at the speed of light these days between school, two jobs, varsity golf, youth group, Campus Life, graduation preparations, and oh yes a girlfriend!
There are days that if we see him for 10 minutes we feel fortunate. Ten minutes of actual conversation is like finding GOLD! I was sharing with friends the other day that having an 18 year old in the house brings the full range of emotions from "I can't wait till your out of here!" to "I can't believe he's leaving us already". Part of God's beautiful design, I guess.
So I have a confession. We as parents (especially dad's) need to face up to the fact that we can make life tough on our kids. Expectations that are too high, words spoken without thought, but bottom line? WE are the cause of all their issues!
This picture will give you a clear picture of why our kids don't stand a chance! Remember, Laura is the one with the camera!
Bless your kids today with your own brand of dementia!
Jay
There are days that if we see him for 10 minutes we feel fortunate. Ten minutes of actual conversation is like finding GOLD! I was sharing with friends the other day that having an 18 year old in the house brings the full range of emotions from "I can't wait till your out of here!" to "I can't believe he's leaving us already". Part of God's beautiful design, I guess.
So I have a confession. We as parents (especially dad's) need to face up to the fact that we can make life tough on our kids. Expectations that are too high, words spoken without thought, but bottom line? WE are the cause of all their issues!
This picture will give you a clear picture of why our kids don't stand a chance! Remember, Laura is the one with the camera!
Bless your kids today with your own brand of dementia!
Jay

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