Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Some people just don't GET IT!

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is totally clueless? I don't mean to belittle or sound mean, but someone who truly can't see your point of view because it literally doesn't exist in their paradigm?

As someone who studies marriage, works with marriages, and yes struggles through this thing called marriage, it boggles my mind when someone who's been MARRIED for 20+ years can't understand some of the simplest truths about relationships. I'm not talking about an uneducated crack head here, I'm talking about people with a PHD for crying out loud.

Here's the truth: if you are married, everything that occurs in your marriage impacts the rest of your life. Also everything that occurs in the rest of your life impacts your marriage!

Now there are degrees of impact of course. If I have a good or bad day on the golf course, it is certainly not going to impact my marriage as much as if I have a heart attack, but the point is that "bad" golf game will have some spill over into my union with Laura because we are ONE!

For most people the problem comes in the fact that they "do their own thing" in marriage and never understand the beauty of becoming ONE with their spouse in every aspect of their lives.

Thanks for letting me RANT!

Jay

2 comments:

Debbie said...

Jay,
I don't have a PhD...but I certainly agree with you. I made a really stupid error this summer and its still impacting my marriage. SO...some of us believe you.

Anonymous said...

Jay adn Laura,

It's been a number of years, but I find it amazing that God has led Juanita & I down the road of marriage ministry. We've started a mentoring ministry in our church here in Missouri and are teaching a Sunday School class we call Celebrate your marriage. God's been good to us.

I handed one of the men I am mentoring a sledge hammer and told him to drop it on his foot every hour for the next week and he said no because it would hurt. I then asked him why he would say hurtful things to his wife everyday knowing full well the pain that was being inflicted. He completely missed the point.

Basically, God has to do the work and the change has to begin in the heart to make a long-term difference.

Keep up the great work!

Brian Johnson