Enter Torrey!

Torrey is a great kid. Let us say that right up front. He has for the most part been a joy to parent, given us so many reasons to be proud, and is a respectful and respected young man. He communicates well with his friends and adults alike and even talks to us about issues which many teens stay mute. That being said, he is still a teenager.

From time to time (Ok more and more these days) Torrey will be out at night. He’ll be off to a ball game or Campus Life meetings or Youth Group. While he’s gone, we get Grace to bed and actually have some quality time as a couple. Sometimes talking, sometimes reading, sometimes in front of the TV. Often, we will start to connect in a way that would naturally lead to additional connecting later on in the bedroom.

Enter Torrey. Being good parents, we try to engage him in conversation about his evening activities. More often than not, he can’t wait to spill forth the plot lines that unfolded over his night out. From time to time however, whether he’s tired or irritated at a friend or just not in a talking mood he simply refuses to communicate about his night. Jay usually dismisses it (as a man I guess he understands when another guy just doesn’t feel like talking) I (Laura) on the other hand can get pretty bent out of shape.

I take Torrey’s lack of communication as “a young man with an attitude” or a child who “doesn’t know who butter’s his bread” and quite honestly it can really set me off. My sensitivity (or over-sensitivity according to Jay) is now transferred to my attitude and demeanor. Without knowing it or understanding why, all that connecting with Jay that has occurred suddenly vanishes, along with Jay’s hopes for further connection.

Gotta Go...Torrey's at Campus Life and Jay's looking for a little "connecting time".