Is something missing or am I missing something?

This story makes me think of the beautiful things I miss in my spouse...EVERYDAY!

Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:
the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.

45 minutes:
The musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace.
He collected $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ....How many other things are we missing?

Didn't fight the battle...but we won the war!

So many parents need to learn to pick their battles! Jay and I have learned over the years that there are certain battles we will fight and others just are not worth it when it comes to the kids. Hair, earrings, etc....just are not that big of a deal. This year Torrey has gone from hair that is well kept to dreadlocks to long hair.

He has gone thru many hairstyle changes and many times I did not like the way it looked! I kept my mouth shut and let him be who he is....his favorite line along the way has been, "It is all a part of my journey, Mom". Well this journey has come full circle! Yesterday he went and got a hair cut all on his own.

I realised that we chose our battle well with his hair. we let him explore who he is and he came to the "correct" conclusion all on his own! We have our boy...oops..young man back! Short well kept hair and all!

You see we did not have to fight that battle but we still won the war!

Do you have a good marriage or a GREAT one?

A good friend of mine sent me an article he wrote I use the following paragraph with his permission.

In Jim Collins’ book, Good to Great, he states that good is the enemy of great. This principle holds true in marriage as well. If you fit into 90% of marriages today, you have adjusted your dream to settle for a good marriage instead of great. God intended for you to have a great marriage. You can have the great marriage that God intended or you can stay with the good marriage that you have. Don’t settle for good, go for great. Place marriage first.

So...how about you?

J & L

Run a step at a time

So yesterday I had way to much chocolate! I love chocolate and especialy chocolate that is drenched over popcorn, rice krispy treats, and pretzels!


As a result of the popcorn treats that I consumed during all day meetings I felt an obligation to go on a very long run....for me that is 4.5 miles. So off Jay and I went.

During my run, in order to keep my mind focused on running and not my wheezing lungs, I began to contemplate the lessons that can be learned from running as it pertains to life. Here are a few observations:

1.Our run, no matter which way we go, begins with a hill! Yesterday as we began, Jay said, "Just focus on getting up that hill." So that is what I did and before I knew it I was at the top. At two other points in our run, we encounter hills. These happen to fall at mile 2.5 to 4.0! Right at the point that I am ready to be done! Again Jay says, " Just focus on getting up that hill." Again, before I knew it, I was at the top.

My point is this....we all have hills in life. We need to focus on one hill at time- getting up those hills one at a time. We cannot look at the hill that might be at mile 2.5 or 4.0 in our life, we have to focus on the now! Before you know it you will be at the top.

2. As I was running, we were keeping a pretty good pace.Actually a much faster pace than I normally keep. I am convinced it was the chocolate! Anyway, I knew I was running faster, but just kept looking right in front of me and saying to myself, "Keep your breathing steady." I ran the entire 4.5 miles faster than normal.

In life we must keep steady. We cannot allow the unexpected challenges to throw us off balance. When we stay steady, we can do alot more than we would have first thought possible.

3. Jay and I run together. It is a great time to talk but it is a great encouraging time as well. Yesterday, I would not have made that 4.5 miles needless to say at the pace I ran it, if it were not for Jay beside me the entire time encouraging me, "you can do it!" " Just focus on this hill." " WOW! You are doing great!"

I think we can face anything life throws at us if we have someone with us encouraging us along the journey. A marriage is so much more than the wedding. It is so much more than what the media wants us to believe. A marriage is a man and a woman, who have said to each other that whatever might come our way, we are in this together, for the long haul (or run!). "Til death do us part".

Dance, Dance, Dance!

Okay so I did it! For years, ever since I quit as a 6 year old, I have wanted to take tap lessons. Well, as many of you know, I did this year. Last fall, I started taking tap at The Academy of Performing Arts, www.apafrancis.com/ I had an absolute blast!

In January, when my instructor, Judiy Swartz said we were going to do a piece from the play, Wicked, I was excited until I learned I was going to play a witch! However, it turned out just fine! I played Alfaba, the green but good witch. My dance partner was Glinda, the beautiful but mean witch. Of course, my dance partner is only 19 so of course she played the beautiful witch!

This weekend was The Academy's recital weekend. I have never been so nervouse in my entire life! I make a living on the stage but this was different! I had to tap dance in front of an audience, and an audience from a very small town where many of us know each other! My only saving grace was my face had to be painted green! I figured maybe people would not recognize me!

The weekend has come to an end. Sad to say...but I look forward to next year. Tap is a blast and it keeps my mind sharp! It is not easy but it is fun! I think we all have to think of things to do that stretch us in our minds and our bodies. It keeps us young and sharp. What is something you have always wanted to do and have not done it yet? Do it!

Next on the list...scuba diving!

A great lesson for those of us (Jay) with anger issues~~

Ron, a 9-year old boy, was being raised by his mother who didn't know how to cope with his uncontrollable temper. She knew he was angry that his father had abandoned him and she tried professional counseling, but nothing seemed to work.

So she sent Ron to spend the summer on his grandparent's farm. When he came home, he was a changed boy. His mom asked him what happened and he told her that every time he got mad or said anything unkind, Grandpa made him go outside and hammer a big two-inch nail into a two by four. It was hard, and he wasn't allowed back until the nail was all the way in.

After about 20 trips to the shed to get the tools, he decided it was easier to control his temper than hammer those long nails.

"Did you change because you hated the consequences so much?" she asked.

"Well, that was part of it," he said. "After I'd nailed in all the nails and was behaving better, Grandma took me outside and made me pull them out. That was even harder. When I was done, she gave me this note."

He showed it to her, and this is what she read:

"Pulling out the nails is like saying you're sorry. But the holes still remain in the board. You can't fix things by being sorry, but you can stop making new holes. Remember, every time you do something mean and nasty, you're making a hole somewhere in someone. That's what your dad did to you. Please don't do it to anyone else. You’re better than that."

Walking this journey together~

Jay

Garbage Trucks

Oh is it a stressful time here. Graduation practice, Academic Honors banquets, getting ready for the Graduation open house and of course Graduation...oh and by the way, RELATIVES in town for the big event.

Well, we plan ahead and work hard at de-stressing when we see potential times of stress coming. We fight together to make ours a house of peace when others are going CRAZY. In the midst of this time I got an email from my friend Mike who posts a daily "funny" we thought today's was particularly insightful for those stress filled times!

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? That guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!"

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage -- frustration, anger, disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

[forwarded by Amelia Lanning]

today'sTHOT============================

Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.

A Big Night for my little buddy~

Ok so he's not so little anymore~~

Torrey Graduates from High School next Sunday, but in my mind it happened last night. Last night was our church youth group's annual Senior Honors Banquet. We ate of course and had the youth worship band lead us in some songs. Then came time to honor the kids, when Dean Humphrey (Torrey's small group leader) reflected on Torrey's time in the youth group he said how much he appreciated the way Torrey stepped up to be a leader through out his time in youth.

That was cool, but what made the evening for me (besides my son initiating a hug with a BIG "I love you dad") was the message Torrey left on the "Senior wall". Along with his name and a TU for Taylor University he left the following quote and scripture:

"Today is a gift live as though your debt has been paid"

Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil. Romans 16:19

While I REALLY don't want to let him go...he's ready!

J & L

Just one of the emails from this weekend

I just wanted to let you know how important what you are doing is (in case you don't know!) My husband and I attended Celebrate 3 years ago for the first time. We were beginning to go through some very hard and painful things which at that time we could not foresee other than we knew it would be bad. The conference was great and helped to begin some healing that helped us stay together through the stormy times that were lying ahead...we were heading into the biggest crisis of our 21 years together.

We just returned home from Mackinac Island after attending our 2nd Celebrate with you. We weren't sure we should spend the money, and decided at the last minute to come. We weren't disappointed. The messages and interaction that you both along with Ken stimulated reminded us how precious and fragile our relationship is and how rewarding it is to keep at it. We have been married 24 years this summer and received the guidance needed to remember why we made this decision, are still together and want to continue into the future for a long time.

We didn't even turn on the radio on the way home (a 3 hour trip) and actually "communicated" all the way. As a matter of fact, we remarked that when our 20 year old daughter is married, we sure hope you are still providing the ministry to couples that is helping the survival of the endangered condition called marriage!
God bless you both and thank you for all you do!
Dawn F
Unionville, MI

Just a thought~~

We're heading to Mackinac first thing in the morning to be with over 800 married people helping them Celebrate their marriage...

Would you consider taking 1 minute to breathe a prayer for ALL marriages right now? It's truly the best course of action!

Thanks~

Jay & Laura

Getting Away~~~

Ok just so you know, Laura and I do try to practice what we preach...We're getting away for a couple of days.

So...When's your next getaway with your spouse?

It's one of the best things you can do for:

You
Your spouse
Your Kids
Your Grand kids
Your Church
Your Job
Your Friends
Your Health
Your Wealth
Your Mind

Ok you get the point...as my friend Bob "Coach" Schuemann says: "I know it...now I just gotta do it!"

GO forth and LIVE!

Jay

Clay Balls

This was passed on to me by a friend from the PGA tour...great message!

Clay Balls
A man was exploring caves by the Seashore. In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake. They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.

He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock . Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!

Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.

Then it struck him. He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!

It's like that with people. We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it.

We see that person as less important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or wealthy. But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.

There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.

May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them.

I am so blessed by the gems of friendship I have with you. Thank you for looking beyond my clay vessel.

APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU HAVE, ESPECIALLY YOUR FRIENDS!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND FRIENDS ARE TOO FEW!

Have a Blessed day~

Jay & Laura

Mother's Day

We leave for Albuquerque first thing Friday morning and won't return until late Sunday (MOTHER'S DAY...just a reminder!). So, I thought I'd pass along this little tribute to mom's everywhere, including my mom and my wonderful wife Laura, the mother of my children. Enjoy!

REAL MOTHERS...

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried Playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask, "Why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "Because I love you best."
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade. It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...

=======================================

THE IMAGES OF MOTHER

4 years old: My Mommy can do anything!
8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 years old: Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 years old: That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 years old: Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 years old: Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 years old: Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 years old: Wish I could talk it over with Mom


Give your Mom a hug every chance you get!

Jay

Fatherhood...It really is tougher on the kids!

Springtime with a Senior in the house can only be described in one word...CHAOS! For this anal retentive dad, CHAOS is never welcome. Torrey is moving at the speed of light these days between school, two jobs, varsity golf, youth group, Campus Life, graduation preparations, and oh yes a girlfriend!

There are days that if we see him for 10 minutes we feel fortunate. Ten minutes of actual conversation is like finding GOLD! I was sharing with friends the other day that having an 18 year old in the house brings the full range of emotions from "I can't wait till your out of here!" to "I can't believe he's leaving us already". Part of God's beautiful design, I guess.

So I have a confession. We as parents (especially dad's) need to face up to the fact that we can make life tough on our kids. Expectations that are too high, words spoken without thought, but bottom line? WE are the cause of all their issues!

This picture will give you a clear picture of why our kids don't stand a chance! Remember, Laura is the one with the camera!

Bless your kids today with your own brand of dementia!

Jay

Gray T-shirts

Does your spouse have quirks? Are there things about him(or her) that just make you laugh? So here is the thing.....Jay has a "thing" for gray t-shirts! I mean like an obsession! He loves gray t-shirts. He wears one every night. Gray t-shirts make up his nite time sexy pj ensemble! It is just a quirky thing...

About six months ago he got online and ordered a dozen of his favorite brand of t-shirts, all in gray! He has an entire drawer of his dresser dedicated to gray t-shirts. It is a quirky thing.....

Last night, I was teasing him about the sexy gray t-shirt he had on. We had a good laugh about his obsession with gray t-shirts and then he made this statement, " When I find some thing I like I stick with it". I laughed for a moment and then it hit me. He may be quirky, yet his statement is what marriage is all about.

When you find someone you like you stick with them. When you first fall in love, you get that ooey gooey liver quiver in your stomach every time you look at the one you love. Time passes, circumstances change, kids come and go and that ooey gooey liver quiver may be less and less. Marriage is not built on the ooey gooey liver quiver. Marriage is built on "like". Finding your best friend, the one who laughs at your quirks, shares your pains, walks thru the storms and gets wet with you. When you find the one you like, you stick with them It may be a quirky thing....

I love technology!

Okay so I know that some of you out there think that all this technology is making us distant and non-communicative. I have heard some say that we are creating a society that isolates itself. Well I disagree!

Over the last year, I have connected with old friends from high school and college. I have made new friends all across the country. For years, we have had thousands of folks come to our conferences and for years, I could not have told you their names nor could I have picked them out of a crowd! NOW...because of Facebook, Twitter, and Skype, I am having a blast getting to know them and making new friends.

I think technology can be what you make it! You can either embrace it and learn from it or you can bury your head in the sand and never use it. You choose. But I will tell you this, I think that Facebook, Twitter, blogging,Skype and texting are simply tools we can use to continue to build relationships across geographical boundaries.

Hey, for all you out there reading this..if you are embracing technology, find me on Facebook or Twitter! Talk at you soon!

Laura

If you value freedom, watch this!

Amazing take on our country

A friendship poem for men! From Mikey's Funnies

Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, let's try this my way...just the stone cold truth about great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again...I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh my head off!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask...because you are my FRIEND!

[forwarded by Kevin Miller]

today'sTHOT============================

When times are tough, you know what you can ALWAYS count on? Your fingers.

HE is Risen!

HE is Risen INDEED!

Food for thought!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get
tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs
covered with bright colored lead-based paints..

We had no child proof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and
when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we
took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE
actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with
sugar, but we weren't overweight because,

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back
when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.And we were OK.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ridedown the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all,no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chatrooms.......

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us
forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and
tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang
the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't
had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers
and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we
learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow
up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of
our lives for our own good .

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how
brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The
quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

We're back!

What an amazing 10 days! It would be very difficult to put into one blog posting! So be prepared...it will be the subject of many blogs to come!:-)

I do not know how many of you have read the book, The Shack, but Jay and I have read it several times now. In the book, the character ascribed to God is Papa. Papa is an African woman. We met Papa in Africa! Her name is Hilda.

Hilda shared her story with us... She shared with passion and faith in the God she loves and serves! She lost her husband to HIV and has four children. She volunteers in the Compassion project chairing the committee that assists in HIV education and positive living for those who are infected with this terrible disease. She is an amazing woman. As she shared her story with us, Jay simply raised his hand and asked her how we could pray for her, specifically. Her response was this...."simply mention my name, He knows me, and He knows my needs."

WOW!!!! Can we all say this? Do we approach the throne of God with a "wish list"? I know that I do! This woman who lives in a slum and works with men, women, and children infected with HIV everyday, does not offer a wish list, but knows that God will do exactly what needs to be done to meet her needs each and every day.

Walk today believing that the God of Heaven and Earth will meet you on the journey and take care of your needs in ways that you will never be able to imagine!

Africa Bound

The Laffoon Family is departing on a Missions Trip to Nairobi, Africa. We leave this weekend and will return April 2nd.

We will be spending our time at different Compassion projects around Nairobi where we will conduct Vacation Bible School and work on minor construction projects.

The highlight of our trip will be the opportunity we have to spend a day with Francis! Francis is a child we sponsor and we are going to meet him and spend a day interacting with him.

Please pray that we will communicate the the Life Changing message of Jesus throughout our trip.

To keep up with our adventures you can dial 800-315-4879 toll free to get daily reports from our trip leader!

What a difference a week makes!

The last time I blogged we were traveling home in fog and rain, anticipating losing an hour of sleep.Today, one week, later we are traveling home in sunshine and spring like temps! Whaoo!

We traveled to St. Clair Shores, MI to an Ultimate Date Night show and then stayed over to preach this morning. We saw 11 children sponsored with Compassion International!

One week from today, at this moment, the Laffoon Fam will be onboard a plane headed for Nairobi, Kenya to visit Francis. Francis is a twelve year old boy we sponsor with Compassion. We will get to visit with Francis as well as love on other children in Compassions Projects through out Kenya.

Whew! what a difference a week can make!

Weary Road Warriors

It is 12;22 am it has been a long day-up at 6 and not home yet! Tonight we lose an hour as well! It is rainy and foggy and our bodies are ready to be out of the car! Even though we are exhausted,it has been a great weekend of ministry. We are grateful to be used by a great God to touch marriages!Have a great Sunday-we will be sleeping!

A Lesson from a tiny frog

The following story was taken from Mikey's Funnies~~

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began but no one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
"They will NEVER make it to the top."
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one, except for those who, in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher.

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one continued higher and higher and higher. He just wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

All of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it. A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal.

It turned out that the winner was deaf.

[forwarded by JR]

today'sTHOT============================

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Blessings~

J&L

Faith like a child!

In our culture today, do we really know and understand what it means to love someone like Jesus would? Many of you have read the book,The Shack. If you haven't, you should, not because it is a great doctrinal reading but because it is has great imagery.

Anway, what strikes me in this book, is the realness of Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. It is thought provoking to the point that I question if in fact the author has met Jesus in a way that I wish I could! The relationship between Jesus and Mac, the main character, is a friendship of love, respect, and bold conversation.
Through this friendship,Mac begins to understand Jesus in ways he never has before.

Do we love people in our lives that way? Do we love and respect them? Do we have bold conversations with them? Do we ask the hard questions in love and with respect? Not because we want to prove anything but because we truly love?

Grace, our 11 year old, loved a friend yesterday in such a way that she asked some bold and hard questions. She loved this friend so much that she was able to introduce this friend to Jesus.

Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoeout of 100 can.

fi yuo cna
raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cehck the lnik at the bttoom!

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht
I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch
at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Laern to mkae the onpenig and cnosilg of yuor secpeh precfet.

Ken Davis' Dynamic Communicators Workshop will help you COMMUNICATE to everyone in your life!

Visit Ken's Website for more info!

A Psalm for troubling times

23RD PSALM

The Lord is my real boss and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray before I speak and to do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that He is my Source and not my job.
He restores my sanity every day and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in everything I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of emails, system crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating supervisors, and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I will not stop--for He is with me!

His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.
He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go.

His faithfulness and love are better than any bonus check.
His retirement plan beats every 401K there is.
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I bless His Name.

Peace~
J&L

The family!

It will come back to bite you in the....!

So I have a really bad habit of planting myself everynight in my chair. I get all comfy and cozy under my "woobie" (which is laura verbage for blanket). THEN I WAIT!

For what? you may ask...I wait for Torrey to move. When he moves to stand up for any reason, I politely ask him to get me "something" - it may be a piece of candy, a kleenex, a magazine....it could be anything.

My point is this...I purposely wait until he moves before I need something. I actually think it through! I am awful! I may need a kleenex right now but if Torrey is not moving I wait as opposed to getting up myself and getting it when I need it! That would mean I would have to get up from under my cozy woobie and move!

Well,he figured me out! Last night, when he moved to stand up; I needed chocolate! I asked in that polite loving mommy voice, "T, would you get me a piece of chocolate while you're up?" He laughed, and responded, "you mean instead of you getting up and getting yourself some chocolate? How long have you wanted chocolate mother? Did the hunger hit you right when I stood up?"

Dang, that kid! I then responded with, "look I gave birth to you! Do you think it would be too much trouble to get me a piece of chocolate!?" He laughed again.

"Mother, I never thought you would stoop to using the birth guilt card!"

I did...I am not proud of it...but...

I DID GET MY CHOCOLATE!

YIKES!

Well today is the day! I am officially old!

NO, it is not my birthday.

No, I can still run 3 miles.

No, I have forgotten anything important...not today anyway!

I am old because I got bifocals today! Of course, due to vanity, my new glasses will NOT have a line in the middle so you will not be able to tell I have bifocals! It was the least I could do!

Pray for Jay though he is not taking the news well...he is married to an old woman now!

Cruisin and a Cause!

We leave for our annual Celebrate Your Marriage Cruise. Heading to the Caribbean for 7 days of warmth, which is a welcome relief from the 10 degrees BELOW ZERO we woke to today!

Also, below you will see a very important piece that came across my desk yesterday. I hope you will take the time to read it and pass it along to others who may feel as strongly about marriage as we do!

A New Year's Resolution: Cut America's Divorce Rate In Half January 1, 2009 by Mike McManus

I'd like to propose a New Year's resolution that could preserve a half million marriages a year now ending in divorce by cutting America's divorce rate in half.

The biggest winners of such an achievement would be 500,000 kids who would not experience their parents divorce. Children are the innocent victims who deserve a bright future.

"Though a divorce is opposed in four out of five cases by one spouse, it is always granted. Should couples with children be required to obtain written mutual consent for the dissolution of their marriage if there are no allegations of major fault such as proven adultery or physical abuse?"

In 48 states No Fault Divorce Law no longer requires proof of major fault to get a divorce. One spouse simply claims the marriage has "irreconcilable differences," and divorce is always granted. Yet in 80 percent of the cases, their spouse says the marriage is reconcilable, according to Andrew Cherlin and Frank Furstenburg in their book, Divided Families.

The key moral question, which every pastor, teacher, social worker, lawyer and parent must answer is this: should a marriage, entered into willingly by two people, be dissolved unilaterally by one unhappy parent - or should both parents have an equal voice in the decision?

To put it differently, shouldn't the parent most committed to the marriage and to the children have an equal voice in a decision that will change their lives forever?

Billy Miller came home for lunch one day to discover that his wife was gone along with most of the furniture and their teenage daughter and son. It was a shock that made him feel "total devastation."

If he had had a voice on the divorce, he would have said no. It shattered their children, two of whom have had babies out-of-wedlock and a third is divorced. Without a model of how a husband and wife make a marriage work, children of divorce find it difficult to bond with someone of the opposite
sex.

Did his ex-wife create a happier life? No. Within four years she married a high school boyfriend who deserted his wife to marry her. He kicked her out after just four months. She married a third time, but it lasted only 8 months. Billy remains her friend, and he prays for her return.

Billy is now a divorce reformer. His local newspaper published his recent letter with questions that deserve answers from the legal profession, clergy and state legislators:

1. "Is marriage a legally binding agreement between two citizens? If it is not, why should it be registered with the legal system, the local courts and the state?

2. "If it takes two people in agreement to initiate a legally binding contract, and two people in agreement to end a legally binding contract,"
why can one spouse terminate a marriage?

3. "The person breaching a (typical) contract is generally the one penalized. How is it fair in divorce to punish the one who is not breaching the contract and, at the same time, reward the one who is? The one objecting to the granting of the divorce is deprived of all rights as the divorce is granted.

"Saddam Hussein received more justice than do American citizens who want to keep their marriage and family intact," Billy Miller wrote.

No Fault Divorce is also unconstitutional. The 5th and 14th Amendments to the Constitution guarantee that "No person be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law."

Where is "due process" if the divorce is always granted?

Miller writes, "Due process is: hearing what you did wrong (accusations), with proof; offering a defense against those accusations; hearing the judge's decision based on the evidence presented, and the right to appeal that decision."

You can take a personal responsibility to help reform No Fault Divorce.
How?

1. Call or write your state representative or state senator, asking them to reform the law.

2. Ask your pastor to not only support this change, but to seek the backing of other clergy in the community, to ask state legislators for divorce reform.

3. Ask your local legal community, the Bar Association, to support divorce reform.

In short, will you declare a New Year's Resolution to help reform No Fault Divorce with Mutual Consent Divorce in cases involving minor children?


Blessings~
J&L

Making the MOST of time

A few incidents have collided in a 24 hour stretch that have me thinking about how quickly time passes...Selling Tickets at the last home AHS basketball game that we will share with Torrey. A memorial service for a man who has been a stalwart in our community. Grace's first "official" swim meet.

Often we can't WAIT for: Christmas, birthdays, vacations, etc. We hope time passes quickly so we can experience the upcoming event. Other times we wish time would stand still and never arrive: That dreaded dentist appointment, April 15th or children leaving home.

One constant about time is that it keeps moving. The only time we have is the present time, so today choose to live in the present. Don't cling to failures of the past and rest assured in the One who holds the future.

Gotta go, TIME for the memorial.

Jay

My friend - the bird

Every day out of my office window a bird will sit and watch me work! Seriously, he does! I have tried to capture him on camera several times and he always flys away. Today,I got him!

I love to watch my little friend. He comes to the tree outside my window to feed on the berries. He watches the world go by. He sometimes brings friends to the tree. He watches me.

My little friend reminds me of the greatness of our God. He causes me to ponder the ways God chooses to create. He causes me to reflect on the wisdom of God.

At times when I have just gotten word of another friend diagnosed with cancer or an illness unexplained by medical technology- my little friend flies into the tree and perches himself and watches me. I find comfort in this because I know when I am questioning God and wondering what the heck He is doing, He sends this little bird to remind me that He is in control and knows exactly what He is doing!

What causes you to ponder and question God? So often we think we are less faithful if we ask questions and experience doubt. I think that questioning and wondering causes our faith to be strengthened. I pray that in 2009 your faith will be strengthened and God will show himself to you in real and authentic ways....like my little friend!

The Christmas that wasn't really was...

We had quite the interesting Christmas at the Laffoon household. One of Torrey's gifts didn't arrive. Many of Grace's gifts didn't fit (she's grown an inch and a half in 2 months). One of Grace's gifts we bought off eBay arrived broken. Some of Jay's gifts didn't fit...NO COMMENT! And last but not least a gift Jay ordered for Laura in November, was made December 10th still (as of the writing of this blog) hasn't SHIPP#D! And N@ these &rn't typ*'s if you get my dr!ft!!!!

We've spent the weekend returning gifts (I have a Mall HANGOVER). Emailing eBay, and various others to see where the gifts are in the shipping process. Spent much energy undoing all the done wrong gifts...again you get the drift.

Anyway, in spite of all the Christmas blunders, this past weekend was filled with laughter, family, friends and the love that Christmas brings. So in fact it was a fantastic Christmas...Christmas as it is meant to be. Here's to a Happy New Year!


J&L

A "Dread"-Filled Day!

It's 10am on Saturday morning here at the Laffoon house and in an hour and a half we are going to host a "Dread head" party. A good number of friends and family will descend on our house for Pizza, movies and about 4 hours of turning Torrey into a "Bob Marley" wanna-be. (Minus the Marijuana of course)

Torrey has been growing his hair out for about 6 months now all in anticipation of turning his beautiful head of hair into a glorified house mop! However if there is one thing I've learned in my years as a parent it is to pick my battles wisely.

Would I prefer him to "dread" his hair? NO, but that really isn't a battle I feel needs to be waged. He's a good kid, no, he's a great kid and the battles I'll look to fight are: when he is not respecting his sister or his mom, when he treats people with injustice, or when he fails to confront things that are just plain wrong! So today I'll live with the hair and in 30 years (Lord willing) we'll all look back with a grin!

And here's the finished product! By the way...that 4 hour project turned out to be 8!


"Hair's" to YOU!

Jay

IT IS FINISHED!

Do you know how you feel at the beginning of a large project? Overwhelmed, daunted by the task, wondering how you'll ever get it all done?

Then the feelings of ELATION when the project is finished? Well today Laura and I are doing a "Happy Dance" as we sent the final chapter of our latest book to our copy editor. She'll clean it up and make it read like a "proper English book" then January 1st it's off to the Publisher!

45,000 words of "wisdom"...OK maybe "wisdom" is a stretch but none the less Powerful Words Your Spouse Needs to Hear is DONE!

For now that is...after the editorial staff a Baker Publishing gets a hold of it we'll have revisions and revisions and revisions...but a year from now, that's right, I said a YEAR (Welcome to the publishing world!) you'll be able to read for yourself the book we just finished!

As for now we'll just keep doing the "Happy Dance"

Blessings~

J&L

so it has been a week....but still it was the best and worst birthday!

So last Wednesday was my 46th birthday! I love birthdays and christmas and any opportunity to celebrate! Celebrations are huge around our house! so here is what happened.....

Jay told the kids the night before that we were waking them up early so we could celebrate my birthday before school. They were given fair warning! So, Grace gets up at 6:30 am and Torrey drags himself down the stairs and 6:45 and promptly plops his body on the couch and goes back to sleep! Jay being Jay starts singing, "Happy birthday to you..." The kids start screaming for him to stop! "It is too early" Torrey yells, " I am still sleeping!" Jay continues to sing...Grace then yells are her dad for irritating her brother! I am watching the whole thing in disbelief! It is my birthday and my kids are yelling because they do not want to sing to me! Needless to say I was hurt, but kept my mouth shut...for a few minutes.

After a while, Jay began to discuss with the kids the err of their ways and they got mad at us for being mad at them for not wanting to sing to me for my birthday! They left for school mad at Jay and I and never once said Happy Birthday mom! Ungrateful kids! I was beginning to wonder who raised these children
Well, this is where it gets good....At 3:00 p.m. my children stroll into my house bearing flowers and apologies for their morning behavior! I got great big long hugs and love and kisses! I knew we had raised them right!!?



It was the worst/best birthday ever!

Tis the Season

Most of you know that Laura is a Christmas FREAK! We have to put up the decorations the day after Thanksgiving...yada yada yada...Well this year I had enough...saying "We" have to put up decorations is like the little kid who says "WE killed a bear and Pa shot it!" If WE put up the decorations why am I the one doing all the work, while Laura decides what goes where!!??!!

So I took matters in my own hands and put up decorations as I saw fit...here is a picture!


Merry Christmas!

DRAMA in the House!

This morning while getting ready for school, Grace was in the laundry room getting her bag ready for dance lessons. Laura, Torrey and I were in the living room having devotions. All of a sudden we hear a shriek and Grace blurts out "Who's there!".

Laura said "no one...you're running late...get your bag around!" Not ten seconds later, another shriek and a "Something is in this house and it's following me!" I replied "Nonsense! This house has been locked all night, nothing is following you!"

At this point Grace came into the living room shaking like a leaf..."Can't you hear that noise? It sounds like a bird chirping around my head!" At this point its all we can do to keep our cool, but I calmly said "Grace come here there's nothing wrong." She took two steps and froze in her tracks..."There" two more steps and this time I heard the little bird chirping too...hmmm

"Grace, take two more steps." There it was again...that chirping sound and it was coming from Grace's foot! Come to find out, she'd ruptured the air bag in the heel of her tennis shoe and every time she took a step with her left foot her shoe would "chirp".

Everyone including Grace cracked up! Something WAS following her...a spooky shoe.

It's those little moments of laughter in life we all need to appreciate. They serve as a gentle reminder that the apples don't fall far from the tree! Grace gets her "drama" from me and her mental instability from Laura :-)

Have a BLESSED DAY!

Jay

Live life to the full!

Each and every day, live life like it is your last...I do not want to be depressing but life's events this week, have made me think about how short life really is....This week the news from friends has been 3 cases of cancer and one unexpected death! These incidents make me ponder what difference am I making each and every day? What do I do with the time I am given each day to bring glory to God? We only have so much time and we do not have the luxury of knowing how much time that is...so ponder these questions....ask yourself are you using the time you have to love your spouse the way they need to be loved...listen to your kids detail out their day...play with your kids...eat dinner as a family...take the time to talk to someone today who you would not normally talk to...the delivery man, the waitress...love those around you the way Jesus would if He were living your life today. We only have so much time!

Living Life to the Full!
Laura

Laugh...it burns calories!

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said 'Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach...Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.'

The pastor shouted out 'CROSS.'

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.'

The pastor hollered out 'GRACE.'
The congregation began to sing 'AMAZING GRACE'

The pastor said 'POWER.'
The congregation sang 'THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.'

The Pastor said 'SEX' The congregation fell into total silence.

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing 'PRECIOUS MEMORIES.'

Gotta Love Little Old Ladies.

Laugh... it burns calories.

J&L

Why we live in a Small Town~~

Over the years we have often been asked why we choose to live in a small town when we could really do our job from anywhere and have MUCH MORE OPPORTUNITY in a big city...well this story illustrates how we feel...

Courtesy of Mikey's Funnies

An investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The fisherman replied, "Only a little while."

The banker then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The banker then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a nap with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I play guitar and sing with my friends. I have a full and busy life."

The banker scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to a big city where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the banker replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then?"

The banker laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions."

"Millions...Then what?"

The banker said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a nap with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could play your guitar and sing with your friends."

today'sTHOT============================

If you are not content with what you have, you'll never be content with what you want.

A new connection!

Okay so I just got done spending too much time on Facebook! Now I know for some of you out there Facebook is a scary thing! But let me tell you, I am having a riot on it! I know the arguement out there that says it is a way to disconnect from real human contact but here is the deal...I am connecting with people that I have not connected with in years!

Former Campus Life kids that have grown up into adults that are raising families and actually remember some of what they learned in Campus Life! A beautiful young mother who was in a grief group I lead while she was in high school who is now helping young children deal with grief in their lives. Friends from college that live so far away that if it was not for Facebook I would not even know where they live or what they are doing. Friends that have been a part of my adult life that have moved away and we can stay connected online. Childhood friends that literally live on the otherside of the country yet we can talk everyday! Friends in my life now, that I do get to see more regularly but we can connect on FB at any given moment.

Facebook is a way to connect and to reconnect. It has truly been a blessing in this Facebookers life. Try it and if you do- friend me so we can stay connected!

We're off

We're heading out this morning for Atlanta to be guests on Everyday with Marcus and Lisa. We're presenting our Healthy Marriage Healthy Church program to a nationwide television audience.

This is our first opportunity to share this on a national level and so we'd like to ask you to pray for a couple of things:
1. That we would be coherent and understood by the listeners
2. That people would respond, seeing the great need this program fulfills
3. That is might open other media opportunities to present HMHC

Thanks!

J & L

Finding the Magnificent in the Mundane

Every job or career has its good points and its bad points. Most every job also has its MUNDANE moments. Dictionary dot com defines mundane as: common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative. In my job, TRAVEL is the mundane.

Saturday I spent 9 count them NINE hours in the car driving to two different speaking engagements. My day began at 6am as I made my way to Grace Adventures in Mears, MI to speak for a men's retreat sponsored by Mt. Pleasant Community Church. Driving due west, the sunrise coming up behind me drew out the brilliance of the fall foliage as every new corner and hill brought a refreshing picture of God's creation...it was MAGNIFICENT!

On my way back to Alma to pick up Laura for our Ultimate Date Night in Tekonsha, MI that evening, a detour routed me over the Croton/Hardy Dam. While driving over the dam, I was treated to six (6) STUNNING swans. They were gliding gracefully over the still glass like waters...it was MAGNIFICENT!

Driving down to Tekonsha I spotted something strange in the air. As we kept our eyes on it we soon discovered it was the Blimp flying through a cloudless sky over the Michigan State University football game...we had seen that blimp from over 20 miles away...MAGNIFICENT!

Coming Home at 10pm at night, a big bright 3/4 waning moon rose over the trees to the east. Laura said it looked like a Milano cookie half dipped in chocolate...we watched it rise in amazement...MAGNIFICENT!

As I climbed into bed after midnight, the effects of an 18 hour day, two shows and nine hours on the road had me weary and sore, but before I drifted to sleep I thanked God that in the midst of the mundane, he revealed the MAGNIFICENT!

Look for the MAGNIFICENT in your job, your spouse or your kids today and be blessed by your Father in Heaven!

Jay

Do we really care?

Okay so here is the question of the day....

We can all get angry about our financial crisis in our country. We can get indignant about which political party has the best candidate for president. We argue and pontificate via email, Facebook, yard signs, and bumper stickers. Yet marriages are falling apart around us and we sit and watch because it "is none of our business"!

Let me tell you folks, our economy is not going to get any better, our children are not going to be safer, who we put in the highest office of our land is not going to matter until we make marriages our business! We all see people around us who are hurting in their marriages. They have made choices that are not good for their relationship. We can see it in their eyes...the hurt, the sorrow, the loneliness. But we still keep our lips locked tight for fear of offending!

We don't mind offending our neighbor with political verbage, but we don't won't to offend our neighbor with words of wisdom that will restore relationships and bring joy back into their lives.

So the question is: Do we really care?

2 Chronicles 7:14 - PRAYER FOR OUR NATION

ONE MINUTE EACH NIGHT.... 9:00 PM Eastern Time.

We all need to be on our knees.

Do you believe we can take God at His word? Call upon His name, then stand back and watch His wonders to behold. This scripture gives us, as Christians, ownership of this land and the ability to call upon God to heal it. I challenge you to do so. We have never been more desperate than now for God to heal our land.

2 Chronicles 7:14 'If my people, which are called by my name shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.'

During WWII, there was an adviser to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every night at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England , its people and peace. This had an amazing effect as bombing stopped. There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. The United States of America and our citizens need prayer more than ever!!!

If you would like to participate: each evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, for peace in the world.

If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this along.

Someone said if people really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have.

Thank You. Please pass this on to anyone whom you think will want to join us.

Busy Saturday

Hello!

We've had a busy Saturday getting ready for Celebrate Your Marriage at Grand Hotel...994 of our "closets" friends are joining us over the next 3 days...

Tonight is Torrey's Sr. Year Homecoming Dance and in the midst of all his preparations he locked two sets of keys in his car...not to worry, a quick call to AAA Michigan and...crisis averted!

Being his Sr. year, the kids are joining us at Grand this fall...so please say an extra prayer for us :-)

C-YA!

J & L

He is growing up!

Every mother comes to a point of realization that her children are growing up! Maybe it is when you move from diapers to big kid pants? Or maybe when they go to kindergarten for the first time? Or maybe when they go on their first date!?!?

I must be a slow learner! Torrey is in his senior year of high school and for some reason it is just now dawning on me that he is growing up! I think the realization that he will be leaving is just hitting home. I am a blubbering mom on any given day at any given event!

Last night was no different! We had parent's night at our youth group. Seems harmless enough and not necessairly a place for me to let the tears flow! But alas....

Torrey is a the leader of the the Youth Worship band and as they were leading us in worship last night I was overcome with the realization that not only was he going to be leaving us next year but what a fine young man he had become! I would like to take credit for it but since it seemed to happen in the blink of an eye...? I stood and watched himn sing and play guitar not only in front a large group of his peers but their parents as well. I was over come with emotion to the point that I could not sing! I was also aware that we do the best we can and thankfully the Lord is in charge! Jesus has made Torrey into the wonderfully talented young man he is!

I have a feeling it is going to be a long year for this mama! I will survive, but I think many tears will be shed and that is okay!

Hug your kids today! (for me!)

Headin' South

We're very excited as we head to Lexington SC this weekend, just outside Columbia for an Ultimate Date Night with The Harvest Church!

In the midst of the obvious turmoil our country is in...Election year, bailouts, and an economy that is in question, let's not forget to keep OUR priorities in order and focus on the Lord, your spouse and your kids...in that order :-)

God is in control!

Blessings~

J & L

Practicing what we preach and it's KILLING ME!

Laura and I are getting away for the weekend trying to practice the things we tell married people they need to do! We're heading to northern Michigan for some golf, sight-seeing and a couple of good restaurants!

BUT...Do you know what I gave UP this weekend? A free all expense paid trip to the Ryder Cup! For those of you that don't know golf...this is HUGE!HUGER!! HUGEST!!!

My friend Bill Hobson of Michigan Golf Live Radio had an extra press pass and room in his van for me to attend the entire Ryder Cup weekend...BUT I committed to go with Laura...

Yes she's worth it...no doubt more important than GOLF...but seriously this event only comes to the states every four years...it's like the Olympics only better because? IT'S GOLF!

Ok ok ok enough of my whining...can I just get a little credit for keeping my priorities straight?

Have a great weekend...we will :-)

Jay & Laura

Girlz Night Out!

Sometimes I feel like it isn't right to call what I do a "job"! We travel to really beautiful places like Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, MI. We meet tons and tons of people that warm our hearts! Take for instance last Friday night...I was asked to do "entertain and inspire" ladies at Girlz Night Out hosted by 99.7 Family Life Radio. We had a blast! The evening was located on the Bavarian Belle in Frankenmuth, MI. We had dinner on the boat and after my "entertaining and inspiring" time, we cruised down the Cass River on the boat.

It was a great night of meeting ladies from all around Michigan, laughing and having fun together! The privilege I have of being with people, laughing, encouraging, listening to their stories is one for which I am truly grateful!

A Best Seller!

Okay so I have to be honest...the other day, Jay sent me a "A Father's Reflections" via emai and asked me what I thought about it. I read it and replied back that I thought it was a bit on the sappy side but a good poem.

Now, understand what was going on inside my head as I read this poem: Jay frequently sends me stuff he finds on the internet and asks my opinion before we use them for something- blog, promotional news, etc. - I was surprised that he had "found" this poem and run it by me. I thought it was his "normal" find!

Come to find out- HE WROTE IT!

After, I responded that I thought it was a bit sappy, he went into this whole deal about how I don't understand him at all! He went on by saying that he could get sappier! I still did not get what he was trying to tell me! I just laughed...

Then as I am laughing...he says, " You know, when I die you can just take my journal and publish all my poems. You will probably make a lot of money off that book. After I am dead and gone."

THAT WAS WHEN IT HIT ME! HE WROTE "A FATHER'S REFLECTIONS" !!! Well that changed everyting...what a sensitive man I married! I was really and truly full of admiration for him and that fact that he wrote that poem! But it was too little too late.....

So I am trying to make amends for be insensitive in the first place by letting all of you know that Jay wrote that poem that he posted the other day. I am telling you all how proud I am of him and his ability to write his heart on paper!

I am also letting you know that the minute he dies...there will be a new bestseller on the shelves!

Thanks for reading and if you enjoyed "A Father's Reflections" let Jay know by commenting!

A Fathers Reflection

A Father’s Reflection

From starry skies to foaming seas
I see the signs – your love for me

A baby’s laugh a good friends grin
Your love displayed, it pulls me in

A wretched man, my sin, my shame
I’m only cleansed by Jesus Name

His name alone can calm the sea
His blood the Cross has set me free

I’m thankful for my wife and kids
And also for, what Jesus did

Lord hear my prayer that is my plea
What is the life you have for me?

"Hurry!"

How many times a day do you find yourself saying "hurry!" If you are like me, I say it at least several times each morning to a slow child not wanting to go to school. I say it every sunday morning when the preacher is not done and my stomach is growling! I say it to myself as I run each day and just want to be finished with the pain!

How much do we miss in life by living in a "hurry!"? It is like a good book. I always want to get to the end and see what happens that I skip over some important details of the story. When we live in a "hurry!" we are missing some important details of the story God has for us.

If we are always thinking we must "hurry!", we will live our lives in a "hurry!" and miss out on some of the journey. One of my favorite sayings is "Dance like no one is watching, love as though you have never been hurt, sing like no one is listening, and live as though heaven is on earth"

Slow down today and enjoy the journey!

Some people just don't GET IT!

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is totally clueless? I don't mean to belittle or sound mean, but someone who truly can't see your point of view because it literally doesn't exist in their paradigm?

As someone who studies marriage, works with marriages, and yes struggles through this thing called marriage, it boggles my mind when someone who's been MARRIED for 20+ years can't understand some of the simplest truths about relationships. I'm not talking about an uneducated crack head here, I'm talking about people with a PHD for crying out loud.

Here's the truth: if you are married, everything that occurs in your marriage impacts the rest of your life. Also everything that occurs in the rest of your life impacts your marriage!

Now there are degrees of impact of course. If I have a good or bad day on the golf course, it is certainly not going to impact my marriage as much as if I have a heart attack, but the point is that "bad" golf game will have some spill over into my union with Laura because we are ONE!

For most people the problem comes in the fact that they "do their own thing" in marriage and never understand the beauty of becoming ONE with their spouse in every aspect of their lives.

Thanks for letting me RANT!

Jay

Back to school!

Back to school is always a bitter sweet time for me! I love summer and having some fun hangout time with my kids, yet there is a point where I am ready for them to head back to school and for us all to return to a "normal" schedule!

"Back to school" shopping is always a fun day with the kids. Torrey, Grace and I headed to the shops yesterday in search of jeans, shoes, and school supplies. The day made me realize a few things:


1. Grace is growing like a weed! She is now in a bigger shoe size than I am!
2. Torrey is on his way out! He is taking an easy schedule as a senior and did not even need school supplies!!
3. Torrey is more interested in friends than fam! He spent the entire day attached to his phone, except when mom was buying him clothes.
4. Grace is a tweenager! Jewelry and fashion were a must!
5. No matter how old they get, they still fight about who sits in the front seat!
6. A year from now, Torrey will be in college and it will be just Grace and I going shopping!

Celebrate the moment now!

Be Informed!

Ok so we're getting political. Or at least as political as we're gonna get. I don't know if you saw the Saddleback Civil Forum on the Presidency, but we thought it was very well done, and that some very good questions were asked. These are certainly not ALL the questions that should be answered by the candidates, but it is a good start, and the link below will allow you to see how the candidates answered the same question.

Enjoy and Be INFORMED!

Click here to view

Perception VS Truth

For over 20 years I have been bothered deep in my soul by the phrase “Perception is reality”.

I could never put my finger on my uneasiness until I heard this statement; “Perception is reality until confronted with the Truth… When perception intersects the Truth, everything becomes clear, we can no longer justify, we can no longer argue, we can no longer be deceived, because Truth cannot change.”


Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;
For like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

For,
"All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall.

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said,
"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.


May your reality today be found in the TRUTH of Jesus and may the world’s perception of you be found in His Grace.

Take the survey!

Jay and I will be writing our next book here in the upcoming months and we need your help! We have a little survey we want you to take:

For women:
1. If you could change anything about men, what would you change? You cannot change anything about the nature of men.i.e. I wish he would desire less sex. Think about men in general, not just your husband or boyfriend.
2. Finish this sentence: I wish men would _________________ more.
3. Finish this sentence: I wish men would _________________ less.


For men:
1. If you could change anything about women, what would you change? You cannot change anything about the nature of women.i.e. I wish she would desire more sex. Think about women in general, not just your wife or girlfriend.
2. Finish this sentence: I wish women would _________________ more.
3. Finish this sentence: I wish women would _________________ less.

When you send us your answers in the comment section of the blog,let us know if you are male or female!

Thanks for your help!

Have a great day!

It's HEATING UP!

We're still in Arizona but couldn't wait to tell you all the great things that are going on for marriages! We've had sold out standing room only Ultimate Date Nights out here in Phoenix! A wonderful time at the AMFM Conference where we not only connected with some old friends but made many new ones as well!

AAAAANNNNNND...we've been getting reports from our Healthy Marriage Healthy Church teams about the super cool things they have going on for marriages in their church! Date Nights, Getaways, Fireproof the Movie and so much more. We're here to let the world know that marriage is meant to be a CELEBRATION and along with all our great friends out there we're going to show you how! KUDOS to everyone for helping us wave the flag for marriage!

Blessings!

J & L

Headin' out

Just wanted you all to know we are headin' out to lovely, steamy, hot, dry Arizona. We are speaking at a conference there and doing 3 Ultimate Date Nights! We are so lucky too because Arizona is having a cool front move in...it is cooling off to 105!!!! Enjoy your week and we will be in touch!

Have a great weekend!
Laura