Cruisin and a Cause!

We leave for our annual Celebrate Your Marriage Cruise. Heading to the Caribbean for 7 days of warmth, which is a welcome relief from the 10 degrees BELOW ZERO we woke to today!

Also, below you will see a very important piece that came across my desk yesterday. I hope you will take the time to read it and pass it along to others who may feel as strongly about marriage as we do!

A New Year's Resolution: Cut America's Divorce Rate In Half January 1, 2009 by Mike McManus

I'd like to propose a New Year's resolution that could preserve a half million marriages a year now ending in divorce by cutting America's divorce rate in half.

The biggest winners of such an achievement would be 500,000 kids who would not experience their parents divorce. Children are the innocent victims who deserve a bright future.

"Though a divorce is opposed in four out of five cases by one spouse, it is always granted. Should couples with children be required to obtain written mutual consent for the dissolution of their marriage if there are no allegations of major fault such as proven adultery or physical abuse?"

In 48 states No Fault Divorce Law no longer requires proof of major fault to get a divorce. One spouse simply claims the marriage has "irreconcilable differences," and divorce is always granted. Yet in 80 percent of the cases, their spouse says the marriage is reconcilable, according to Andrew Cherlin and Frank Furstenburg in their book, Divided Families.

The key moral question, which every pastor, teacher, social worker, lawyer and parent must answer is this: should a marriage, entered into willingly by two people, be dissolved unilaterally by one unhappy parent - or should both parents have an equal voice in the decision?

To put it differently, shouldn't the parent most committed to the marriage and to the children have an equal voice in a decision that will change their lives forever?

Billy Miller came home for lunch one day to discover that his wife was gone along with most of the furniture and their teenage daughter and son. It was a shock that made him feel "total devastation."

If he had had a voice on the divorce, he would have said no. It shattered their children, two of whom have had babies out-of-wedlock and a third is divorced. Without a model of how a husband and wife make a marriage work, children of divorce find it difficult to bond with someone of the opposite
sex.

Did his ex-wife create a happier life? No. Within four years she married a high school boyfriend who deserted his wife to marry her. He kicked her out after just four months. She married a third time, but it lasted only 8 months. Billy remains her friend, and he prays for her return.

Billy is now a divorce reformer. His local newspaper published his recent letter with questions that deserve answers from the legal profession, clergy and state legislators:

1. "Is marriage a legally binding agreement between two citizens? If it is not, why should it be registered with the legal system, the local courts and the state?

2. "If it takes two people in agreement to initiate a legally binding contract, and two people in agreement to end a legally binding contract,"
why can one spouse terminate a marriage?

3. "The person breaching a (typical) contract is generally the one penalized. How is it fair in divorce to punish the one who is not breaching the contract and, at the same time, reward the one who is? The one objecting to the granting of the divorce is deprived of all rights as the divorce is granted.

"Saddam Hussein received more justice than do American citizens who want to keep their marriage and family intact," Billy Miller wrote.

No Fault Divorce is also unconstitutional. The 5th and 14th Amendments to the Constitution guarantee that "No person be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law."

Where is "due process" if the divorce is always granted?

Miller writes, "Due process is: hearing what you did wrong (accusations), with proof; offering a defense against those accusations; hearing the judge's decision based on the evidence presented, and the right to appeal that decision."

You can take a personal responsibility to help reform No Fault Divorce.
How?

1. Call or write your state representative or state senator, asking them to reform the law.

2. Ask your pastor to not only support this change, but to seek the backing of other clergy in the community, to ask state legislators for divorce reform.

3. Ask your local legal community, the Bar Association, to support divorce reform.

In short, will you declare a New Year's Resolution to help reform No Fault Divorce with Mutual Consent Divorce in cases involving minor children?


Blessings~
J&L

Making the MOST of time

A few incidents have collided in a 24 hour stretch that have me thinking about how quickly time passes...Selling Tickets at the last home AHS basketball game that we will share with Torrey. A memorial service for a man who has been a stalwart in our community. Grace's first "official" swim meet.

Often we can't WAIT for: Christmas, birthdays, vacations, etc. We hope time passes quickly so we can experience the upcoming event. Other times we wish time would stand still and never arrive: That dreaded dentist appointment, April 15th or children leaving home.

One constant about time is that it keeps moving. The only time we have is the present time, so today choose to live in the present. Don't cling to failures of the past and rest assured in the One who holds the future.

Gotta go, TIME for the memorial.

Jay

My friend - the bird

Every day out of my office window a bird will sit and watch me work! Seriously, he does! I have tried to capture him on camera several times and he always flys away. Today,I got him!

I love to watch my little friend. He comes to the tree outside my window to feed on the berries. He watches the world go by. He sometimes brings friends to the tree. He watches me.

My little friend reminds me of the greatness of our God. He causes me to ponder the ways God chooses to create. He causes me to reflect on the wisdom of God.

At times when I have just gotten word of another friend diagnosed with cancer or an illness unexplained by medical technology- my little friend flies into the tree and perches himself and watches me. I find comfort in this because I know when I am questioning God and wondering what the heck He is doing, He sends this little bird to remind me that He is in control and knows exactly what He is doing!

What causes you to ponder and question God? So often we think we are less faithful if we ask questions and experience doubt. I think that questioning and wondering causes our faith to be strengthened. I pray that in 2009 your faith will be strengthened and God will show himself to you in real and authentic ways....like my little friend!