The continuing saga of a not smart woman

Okay so I went out and bought the game "Are you smarter than a 5th grader". I needed to prove that I could keep up! I failed! MISERABLY!!

Last night, we sat down as a family to play this game. The goal is to win the million dollars by answering 10 questions: 2 from 1st grade, 2 from 2nd and so on through 5th grade. The instructions tell you that the questions are actually taken from grade school curriculum!

So here we go- I was first- I did not make it to 3rd grade! Did you know that there are 13 stripes on the American Flag?!?!?! Did you know that it takes 365 days for the earth to completely circle the sun?!?! I was pretty sure it only took 12 hours! My family got some really good laughs at my expense. That is what I am here for!

So lets see if you can answer the one question that did stump my fam but that I did answer correctly:
Finish this song- "Oh, I went down south to see my Sal singing" WHAT?

Have fun!

Are you smarter than a 5th grader!

The easy answer is NO! At least I am not! Grace is in fifth grade and she is much smarter than I. Her favorite thing to do right now is come home from school and quiz us all on whatever they are currently studying. Recently we have been quizzed on plants, their structure, how they grow and eat, etc. I did not do to badly on that quiz!

Currently in school, Grace is studying American History, specifically Native Americans. Last night she came home asking us all kinds of questions about tribes, where they lived, what they were known for, what they did for trade,etc. Grace's favorite part of the quiz is to turn it on us and make us ask her questions from our limited knowledge!

Last night, Jay was just sure he had her! He was asking her all kinds of questions concerning Native Americans and their history. Grace was answering every question correctly! Jay, being the competitive person that he is, thinks long and hard. "AH-HA!", he exclaims, "I've got one for you little girl!" " What is the name of the tribe from the Great Plains region that was known for wearing Mohawks?" Grace looks quizzically at him. " I do not know that one", she replies dejectedly. "Iroquois!" Jay exclaims triumphantly. To which Grace replies,"Dad that is not right. The Iroquois were northeastern woodland Indians." Stunned, Jay thinks, " Oh you're right I am thinking of the Apaches!"

Now I am NOT the only person in our family not smarter than a fifth grader!

He is so exhausting!

Okay so here is the deal ladies-do you ever find yourself being exhausted to the point that you need to sleep for an entire day? I do often and I have discovered the cause! JAY!!! Not for the reasons your mind is already thinking either!

Frequently, which means often at short intervals, so in real people terms- ALOT! Anyway, I accuse Jay ALOT of being the energizer bunny- he keeps going and going and going and expects the rest of us to keep up! I tell him that it is not humanly possible and that he is a freak of nature to keep going like he does. Here is the essential crux of the problem- HIS BRAIN NEVER STOPS! HE always took my accusations of him being freakish as a ploy to distract from my laziness and love of sleep. But now I have proof that he is a freak!

Last Saturday morning as we are enjoying our first cup of coffee, Jay gets this funny look on his face and says this," I think I wrote a chapter of our new book last night." To which I replied, "Great! I did not hear you get up to go write?" " I didn't get up. I wrote it in my sleep". " FREAK!!!" was my loving response. Jay then begin to recall all the thoughts that had come together in his brain while he slept! He actually did write a new chapter for our new book while he slept. It is actually very good and has some depth! Now he believes me when I tell him he is a freak.

Have a great day and enjoy the freaks in your life!

I Don't hate animals...But this is ridiculous!

Let me start by saying that I am not an animal hater. I could never hurt an animal nor would I EVER condone that type of behavior. That being said I must speak out!

I saw a clip on the news this morning featuring Ellen DeGeneres and her "Dog Tragedy". Basically Ellen broke down crying on national TV because an organization she adopted a dog from took the dog back after Ellen violated the terms of the contract.

Ellen had spent $3,000 getting the dog neutered and "trained" to live with her cats. The dog wouldn't "fit in" so she gave the dog to her hairdresser and received daily "updates" about cuddly little Iggy. Her hairdresser has two daughters and Ellen is just distraught over these two girls losing their dog.

Now, I am sensitive to how easily young girls can get hurt, my Gracie reminds me of that almost daily. And I do feel for those two girls and I hope they get Iggy back.

What perked my ears and caused me to investigate was the $3,000 Ellen had spent in the first two weeks she owned the dog. I am aware of Ellen's fame and associated "fortune" I'm sure, but it made me ask what does it cost to own a dog?

I did some research and found that owning a dog for an average of 14 years (the average life span of a dog) ranges from $4,200 to $39,000. Those figures blew me away. Why? because I know how that much money could impact a PERSON in need.

Now don't go off on how dogs are good for your health, and make great companions, blah blah blah...guess what? So does having a relationship or friendship with a PERSON!

$4,200 can educate, medicate, clothe, feed, house, and impact a child for ETERNITY! Through Compassion International someone like you and me can impact impoverished children around the world. $32/month would help a child for over 10 years before it would cost $4,200.

Don't even get me started on $39,000. That's 10 kids for 10 years...wow!

I think before we shed one tear over an animal, we should shed many until we assist every PERSON who genuinely needs our help.

A Birthday thought...Confirmed

I'm 46 today...firmly rooted in middle age! This morning in my journal I reflected on the insignificance of life...in the scope of time and space and the shear number of souls walking this planet I am nothing...dust.

I further reflected however that Christ is everything..."in-Him" all was made and all is held together...so I concluded my journal entry this morning with the following:

"I am dust Lord and you are the Swiffer...so pick me up and take me where you wish...Swiffer me to the place you see fit. If I am to be 'Butt Dust' may I be 'Butt Dust' for You."

Those heart felt thoughts were confirmed this morning as I opened my email to read my daily Bible text I receive from our friends at the Moravian church

Tuesday, October 16
Psalm 119:9-16
Ezekiel 20:30-21:17; James 2:1-13

You have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing in your sight. Surely everyone stands as a mere breath. Psalm 39:5

Creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope. Romans 8:20

Amazing Creator, in the grand plan of your creation we are but a speck; our lives a mere blink of your eye. You are our teacher, help us to comprehend - we long to understand. Amen.

So fellow "Dust Bunnies" who or what is "Swiffering" you?

Jay

Can we fill God with Joy?

For the last 5 years Grace has slept in a "Petite Twin" bed that was my grandmothers. Grandma was 4'10" at her peak and had shrunk with age so the bed was plenty big for her. Grace however is growing like a weed and we would often find her sleeping with her feet off the end of the bed.

Saturday we were out at "Jay's Furniture Barn" in Elwell MI. We wandered back in the clearance section we found the perfect bed at an affordable price.

The bed has a bookshelf headboard complete with two reading lights built in which is perfect for our little girl who easily reads two to three books a week. It has dresser drawers "built in" underneath the bead which gives Grace extra space not needing a dresser in her bedroom. And best of all (for dad) the bed needed little assembly as it came in pieces that slid together.

As Grace snuggled in her bed that night, the strangest thing occurred. I found myself filled with a feeling I had never experienced before. The pure joy of "Fatherhood". Grace had never asked for a bed. She didn't really know she needed a bed. As her father however, I not only knew she needed it, but wanted to provide it simply because I love her. Grace's grateful response to the gift brought me pure JOY!

I think God is like that a lot with us. He knows what we need, even when we don't know we need it. He provides for us simply because He is our Father. No strings attached, no "ifs" no conditions. When we respond with gratitude for the little things God provides everyday, I believe we fill our Heavenly Father with JOY!

Thank God for the little ways He provides and know you are a blessing to HIM!

Jay

It's been a while...but this intrigued me

I received the following from a friend...it's harsh but definitely some food for thought...

There was a Chemistry professor in a large college that had a few exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab, the Professor noticed one exchange student who kept rubbing his back and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country.

In the midst of his story, the student looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked, "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said this was no joke. "You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up the second side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves and so they accept their captivity.

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America. The government keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. While we continually lose our freedoms- just a little at a time.

One should always remember "There is no such thing as a free lunch!" You can never hire someone to provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.


So? What do YOU think?

Jay

Marriage is hard work!

Not that this statement is news to any one that is married! Today alone, without discussing my own marriage, I have talked with over 5 different people concerning their marriages and the struggles as human beings we have living with another human being! I won't even go into my own marriage and the struggle I have putting undue expectations on myself to be the perfect wife and mother!

So if we all stink at marriage, and we can all acknowledge that, why do we give the media attention to those poor celebrities whose marriages stink too??? Just because they are in the limelight, why does that give the media any right to point out the faults in their relationships? I don't think it does! Nor should we find pleasure in the fact that their marriages are not any different than our own.

So that is my two cents!

Laura

Meatloaf memories

We had a first in the Laffoon household tonight. Our 10 year old daughter Grace announced that SHE was going to make dinner! Ok, so what are we going to have? "Meatloaf, corn and a salad" came the reply. I think the real reason she wanted to make dinner was to kill some time after being "grounded" from "screens" (TV, Computer, Game boy etc.)

None the less, when dinner hit the table at precisely 6:36pm EST we all ate in amazement at the delicious food she had prepared. The meatloaf was exceptional with a delightful red glaze. The sweet corn tasted as good as it did this summer when we froze it, and the salad was "tossed" to perfection.

I don't think I'll ever forget the memories and flavor of our first episode of Gracie the Gourmet!

In other news, Brittany Spears lost custody of her children today...do you think she'll miss the Meatloaf? I think she already does~

So what's your favorite meatloaf memory?

Jay