Is something missing or am I missing something?

This story makes me think of the beautiful things I miss in my spouse...EVERYDAY!

Washington DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:
the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the till and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A3 year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly, as the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced them to move on.

45 minutes:
The musician played. Only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace.
He collected $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ....How many other things are we missing?

Didn't fight the battle...but we won the war!

So many parents need to learn to pick their battles! Jay and I have learned over the years that there are certain battles we will fight and others just are not worth it when it comes to the kids. Hair, earrings, etc....just are not that big of a deal. This year Torrey has gone from hair that is well kept to dreadlocks to long hair.

He has gone thru many hairstyle changes and many times I did not like the way it looked! I kept my mouth shut and let him be who he is....his favorite line along the way has been, "It is all a part of my journey, Mom". Well this journey has come full circle! Yesterday he went and got a hair cut all on his own.

I realised that we chose our battle well with his hair. we let him explore who he is and he came to the "correct" conclusion all on his own! We have our boy...oops..young man back! Short well kept hair and all!

You see we did not have to fight that battle but we still won the war!

Do you have a good marriage or a GREAT one?

A good friend of mine sent me an article he wrote I use the following paragraph with his permission.

In Jim Collins’ book, Good to Great, he states that good is the enemy of great. This principle holds true in marriage as well. If you fit into 90% of marriages today, you have adjusted your dream to settle for a good marriage instead of great. God intended for you to have a great marriage. You can have the great marriage that God intended or you can stay with the good marriage that you have. Don’t settle for good, go for great. Place marriage first.

So...how about you?

J & L

Run a step at a time

So yesterday I had way to much chocolate! I love chocolate and especialy chocolate that is drenched over popcorn, rice krispy treats, and pretzels!


As a result of the popcorn treats that I consumed during all day meetings I felt an obligation to go on a very long run....for me that is 4.5 miles. So off Jay and I went.

During my run, in order to keep my mind focused on running and not my wheezing lungs, I began to contemplate the lessons that can be learned from running as it pertains to life. Here are a few observations:

1.Our run, no matter which way we go, begins with a hill! Yesterday as we began, Jay said, "Just focus on getting up that hill." So that is what I did and before I knew it I was at the top. At two other points in our run, we encounter hills. These happen to fall at mile 2.5 to 4.0! Right at the point that I am ready to be done! Again Jay says, " Just focus on getting up that hill." Again, before I knew it, I was at the top.

My point is this....we all have hills in life. We need to focus on one hill at time- getting up those hills one at a time. We cannot look at the hill that might be at mile 2.5 or 4.0 in our life, we have to focus on the now! Before you know it you will be at the top.

2. As I was running, we were keeping a pretty good pace.Actually a much faster pace than I normally keep. I am convinced it was the chocolate! Anyway, I knew I was running faster, but just kept looking right in front of me and saying to myself, "Keep your breathing steady." I ran the entire 4.5 miles faster than normal.

In life we must keep steady. We cannot allow the unexpected challenges to throw us off balance. When we stay steady, we can do alot more than we would have first thought possible.

3. Jay and I run together. It is a great time to talk but it is a great encouraging time as well. Yesterday, I would not have made that 4.5 miles needless to say at the pace I ran it, if it were not for Jay beside me the entire time encouraging me, "you can do it!" " Just focus on this hill." " WOW! You are doing great!"

I think we can face anything life throws at us if we have someone with us encouraging us along the journey. A marriage is so much more than the wedding. It is so much more than what the media wants us to believe. A marriage is a man and a woman, who have said to each other that whatever might come our way, we are in this together, for the long haul (or run!). "Til death do us part".

Dance, Dance, Dance!

Okay so I did it! For years, ever since I quit as a 6 year old, I have wanted to take tap lessons. Well, as many of you know, I did this year. Last fall, I started taking tap at The Academy of Performing Arts, www.apafrancis.com/ I had an absolute blast!

In January, when my instructor, Judiy Swartz said we were going to do a piece from the play, Wicked, I was excited until I learned I was going to play a witch! However, it turned out just fine! I played Alfaba, the green but good witch. My dance partner was Glinda, the beautiful but mean witch. Of course, my dance partner is only 19 so of course she played the beautiful witch!

This weekend was The Academy's recital weekend. I have never been so nervouse in my entire life! I make a living on the stage but this was different! I had to tap dance in front of an audience, and an audience from a very small town where many of us know each other! My only saving grace was my face had to be painted green! I figured maybe people would not recognize me!

The weekend has come to an end. Sad to say...but I look forward to next year. Tap is a blast and it keeps my mind sharp! It is not easy but it is fun! I think we all have to think of things to do that stretch us in our minds and our bodies. It keeps us young and sharp. What is something you have always wanted to do and have not done it yet? Do it!

Next on the list...scuba diving!

A great lesson for those of us (Jay) with anger issues~~

Ron, a 9-year old boy, was being raised by his mother who didn't know how to cope with his uncontrollable temper. She knew he was angry that his father had abandoned him and she tried professional counseling, but nothing seemed to work.

So she sent Ron to spend the summer on his grandparent's farm. When he came home, he was a changed boy. His mom asked him what happened and he told her that every time he got mad or said anything unkind, Grandpa made him go outside and hammer a big two-inch nail into a two by four. It was hard, and he wasn't allowed back until the nail was all the way in.

After about 20 trips to the shed to get the tools, he decided it was easier to control his temper than hammer those long nails.

"Did you change because you hated the consequences so much?" she asked.

"Well, that was part of it," he said. "After I'd nailed in all the nails and was behaving better, Grandma took me outside and made me pull them out. That was even harder. When I was done, she gave me this note."

He showed it to her, and this is what she read:

"Pulling out the nails is like saying you're sorry. But the holes still remain in the board. You can't fix things by being sorry, but you can stop making new holes. Remember, every time you do something mean and nasty, you're making a hole somewhere in someone. That's what your dad did to you. Please don't do it to anyone else. You’re better than that."

Walking this journey together~

Jay