DO Sweat the Small Stuff!

This article came across our desk...It's a GREAT reminder to SWEAT the small things in your marriage!

Elizabeth Bernstein
Wall St Journal
April 20, 2010

When Jim Caudill's first wife sat him down and explained that she wanted a divorce, she had a long list of complaints: He didn't help enough with the kids. He didn't do his share of the housework. They were more devoted to work than to each other.

Then she brought up the English muffins. "She said, 'You never butter them to the edges, you just pat it in the middle,'" says Mr. Caudill, a 59-year-old winery marketing representative in Santa Rosa, Calif.

Mr. Caudill was stunned. But gradually, the message sunk in. "The weight of a small thing can be onerous," he says. "It's a symptom of a larger need."

Don't sweat the small stuff? Don't kid yourself.

Just as we often fall in love with the little traits or quirks of our partner‹a crooked smile, a goofy laugh or the way he or she fawns over a pet‹we can fall out of love over seemingly small things. Aggravation over the little characteristics we would like to change about our mate can build up over time and become much more than the sum of their parts. As any divorce attorney can tell you, a dirty sock left on the floor has a way of turning into: "You do not listen to me, you do not respect me, you do not care about me." . . .

(And, the classic paragraph)

. . . . Ms. Barrie, who has since divorced and remarried, was dismayed to find that her second husband also leaves his dirty dishes in the sink. But she says she has finally learned to take it in stride. "By the time you marry a second time, you grow up," she says. "I realized how important it was to have a partner for the big life stuff and that the little life stuff ruins the present moment."

So how do you cope when your partner's habits start to push you over the edge? . . . .

Full article: here

Blessings~
J & L