Jay and I were reading an e-article this weekend and the discussion continues regarding the institution of marriage and the mystery of marriage. We are putting an excerpt in from this article because it caused discussion in our house and wondered what your thoughts were.
"A couple's sex life is the number one best barometer of how well their
marriage is going," said Dr. John Friel, psychologist and bestselling
author.
Marriage, he says, is by definition a sexual relationship, and if sex has
gone by the wayside, so too has the marriage. If you are in a sexless
marriage, "you can't call it a marriage. You can call it a friendship. You
can call it a working, parenting relationship."
Could this help define the institution? " working parent relationsip"
"They're really good business partners in the business of shuttling their
kids from one hockey game to the next, going to band practices, making sure
homework gets done," said Friel, who stressed letting a marriage's sex life
die shouldn't be an option for those who want to stay happily married,
"because it isn't about sex. It's about being connected and about nurturing
each other."
Institution is about the business of marriage and the Mystery is about connecting and nurturing....
What do you think?
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5 comments:
Alot of truth here. I think the article maybe overstates it a little. We are going to celebrate our twenty-fifth this year, and I'm a happy boy! You do the math! Have there been times when sex has been "sparse", you bet! Life has a way of just getting in the way, but marriage is a two way street in every category. Commnuication is the single best way to keep the doors open. Its good to you all take the leap into the next generation of communication. Blogging will be a great way to let people of all backgrounds and experience contribute, by sharing their real life. Hope all goes well.
yes I think without sex it would be like you were friends. Sex is something you should enjoy with your partner thats why GOD made man and woman.
Hmmm...I think I have to say that sex does not make the marriage. Having had my husband just go through prostrate cancer and having to deal with ED (one of the few who has this problem at a very young age @50). While yes it can be a hard adjustment we both have learned that this is not what has kept us together. We are grateful that God has allowed us to catch the cancer early and to allow us to still be together. We have time to enjoy children and friends and doing HIS work. There are other so many ways to have a relationship without "sex" you would be amazed! God is good and I thank Him for showing us this and for allowing us this time and the opportunity to be together doing His work. I know it's by His grace that we have found this new way in our relationship as before this was #1 for me. Thank you Jesus for loving us so much.
I think that the Christian culture has followed the world's path in placing too much emphasis on the sexual relationship and alot of hurt has erupted out of this. A healthy sexual relationship naturally occurs when everything else is done right in a marriage so there shouldn't be a need for so much attention given to the "sex" in marriage. Rather, you should be teaching serving each other, husbands living with their wives in an understanding way and being the spiritual leaders in the home. Under true Christ-like leadership, Christian women can easily do as Christ called us to and submit because we would be safe in the arms of our husbands. But in our society, spiriutal leadership has diminished and women feel very unsafe which makes for multitudes of marriages built on sinking sand and crashing down. You see it really isn't about the sex at all! That is not what God created marriage for, sex was just a benefit for living as God called us to in marriage- serving each other and loving each other.
My husband is a truck driver so although we talk extensively on a daily basis we only see each other once or twice a month usually. While sex is an important part of our relationship (especially seeing other so infrequently)it is not always a part of our weekends together. It is nice to be together and catch up on those "7 significant touches" and just be together. I don't think that makes our relationship a friendship. We do make it a point to go to at least one marriage conference a year and at least one "renewal" weekend a year to celebrate our anniversary. Even though his boss asks how many "honeymoon weekends" we get a year sometimes its nice to just talk face to face instead over the phone (and hey if sex is involved all the better!!!)
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